Look Before You Leap
by Merthur Dreamer
Summary: Merlin finds an extraordinary ability, and soon exploits it to his advantage; soon he realises that not only is he interrupting everyone's happiness, but also his own...
1. The First Jump

**There is such a story behind this:**

**I've always loved this film and believed it to be a brilliant piece of... coming of age - and understanding what love is. I enjoyed it and wanted to write it with Merthur, because the two mesh so well together.**

**Kit got me into reel but she had to drop out, which shook me, so, obviously, I lost all faith in this. I hope it's alright: I warn you now, apparently, my writing style has been called, 'knotted'.**

**This isn't betaed, but I have edited it twice – which is why there will more than likely still be SPAG mistakes... **

**Well, at least I hope not, and I hope you enjoy it ^_^**

**Look Before You Leap**

**Chapter 1**

**The First Jump**

"_Time is a game played beautifully by children."_  
**Fragments, Heraclitus**

Merlin was sleeping rather happily in his room. His bed was comfy; a nice duvet fortress that he'd made out of the sheets and things was quite adequate to his needs. The bed in question was up against the wall on the right hand side if you're entering through the door. Next to the bed to its own right, is a very cleverly placed _bedside _table. Then, from the coming-in-through-the-door person's perspective, on the left hand side of the room, was Merlin's wardrobe built into the wall with sliding doors. This left the rest of the room to be filled with his stuff: books, loose sheets of forgotten (he remembers when he wrote them) poetry tucked into the bookshelf on the far wall, next to the window, which actually had a nice view of their garden, their apple tree which grew outside, and the road going down-hill.

That's where Merlin lived, on Camelot Hill.

Now, as was said, Merlin was having a lovely sleep, until he heard whispers which didn't really get to him all too coherently from his mind's fuzzy state,

'_Merlinnnnnn'_

Merlin moved in his dozing state of grace,

'MERLIN!'

Then out of completely nowhere, Merlin felt this very hard, very metallic bang upon his forehead, which did not only wake him up, but _bloody hurt_.

'OowW!' Merlin yelled as he was yanked from the remnants of a strange dream, filled with voices and the reminder that his sister stole his custard pudding! He was playing with his friends when he got the text, the event being so dramatic and utterly devastating that he must have dreamt it too.

There, standing next to him, was his sister, a little girl of fifteen, same black hair and white complexion as he, but _not _the same, because it made him feel less... individual? Unique? Real?

She was standing next to his bed, drinking her morning milk, ready for school.

Merlin was about ready to throttle the little BRAT, and if the pain in his dear head didn't stop, pulsing against his skin's surface, then he'd sue her too!

But then he realised that his alarm clock, a flat cuboid of sorts in shape, flat aluminium sheets for appearance, all nice and shiny, with a red digital screen...

Read 8:15...

'_Shit!' _Merlin thought.

(School started in ten minutes!)

Merlin, clad in a loose black t-shirt with a v-neck and buttons down to about mid-way, with checkered pants of blue hues, had a mini heart attack.

'It's about time you got up.' Freya said, finishing off the last of her milk.

**X**

Merlin ran down the stairs, now dressed for school.

Damn his sixth form head for making them wear proper uniform this year!

'_I mean honestly, just my luck for it to happen in the last bloody year of sixth form!'_

'What did you turn the alarm off for?' Merlin shouted as he completed the decent onto the ground floor of their hardwood house.

'I didn't, you turned it off yourself!' Freya shouted back as she left the house for a lift, of course, out the front door, which was down the hall on your right if you were coming down the stairs.

DAMN HER FOR GETTING A BLOODY LIFT AN' ALL!

Merlin heard vaguely on the news that it was the 13th of July, 08:18, which _Freya _must have left on and Merlin would get the blame for, coming from the living room which was opposite the staircase as it bent into the main hallway.

The seventeen year old lolloped into the kitchen, which is a bit further down the hall on the left if you're like Merlin and spinning round the staircase.

'Finally managed to get up, did you?' Hunith spoke sweetly, a little cheeky smile soft like mother's do when they know they shouldn't anger you but just can't help provoking just a little because your reaction is "so adorable." She was by the stove, which was on the left from the kitchen's entrance.

Merlin ignored this.

He got to the table, slap bang in the middle of the kitchen, also used as another surface for random shit, like food, shopping, candles, a fruit bowl and such like, but all he wanted was his slices of toast and his milk.

'Morning Mum,' he said hurriedly as he then started the most strenuous task of gulping down his milk in one: broken gulps of disappearing milk and a bobbing prominent Adam's apple a most becoming image on Merlin.

Once he slammed the glass back down on the table, not _that_ worried it would break from the abuse, he grabbed one slice of the two of toast, melted butter delicious, and took a bite with a rush, then proceeded to announce his leaving and legged it for the door,

'See ya Mum!'

But when he had slammed his right foot against the doorframe, now cursing God and Freya, Hunith halted his efforts for escape.

'Hang on a second, Merlin; on your way home could you give this to your Auntie Witch?'

That's Nimueh, by the way.

Merlin felt very put upon, and very taken advantage of, his brow frowning in an odd dance between down and up, confused as to which way it should go to express Merlin's annoyance and need for haste: it settled for pouting his eyebrows like lips in perturbation.

'What! No way, I can't lug all this to school on my bike!'

It was a bushel of apples.

She gently forced the bag into his left hand.

'Also, could you try not to die in your rush please?' She said again, very annoyingly sweetly and very mother-like.

While she was saying this, Merlin was in the porch, slipping on his shoes, which were navy converse.

At least he got to wear his own shoes to school.

The uniform, by the way, was the standard: white shirts for boys, with either dark navy or black "smart" trousers, no tie _thank god, _with the female alternatives for girls.

Merlin wore very dark navy trousers, almost black, a bit too long, because even with his shoes on they still bunched up quite a bit around his ankles, but at least they fit his waist, which was the important thing. His shirts were clean, of course, but well worn, and his friends found it quite comical how the torso fit well, but Merlin's arms were a bit on the edge of too skinny for the sleeves, even though they were short-sleeved.

Top button _un_done.

'Alright,' Merlin kissed his mum on the cheek, then swung the front door open, a little and very much loved breeze coming in from the action.

It was bloody hot today!

'See ya!' He repeated, then ran to grab his bike against the garden wall, swung open the garden gate, iron and rusted, then pegged it down the hill, descending on the left, as his mother cried out warmly, 'Have a good day!'

Merlin was thankful for the very boyish basket he had on the front of his bike, because he could then toss the bag with the apples in that. His own school bag, a worn leather satchel, hung loosely on his side, but he'd flipped it so it was on his back for the bike ride.

Merlin, for more description, had moonstone skin, jet black lace hair, which was in the shape of a classic "bed head". He'd tried in the past to use water, gel and wax to make it resemble something like "neat" but had been unsuccessful because, although most of his hair would obey, there was always a patch of "anarchy hair" which just wouldn't go down, so because he couldn't go round half done up, he'd just let it swing loose...

Which meant sticking up in directions a bit odd; this style also made him look like he had a bit of a cow like going on of sorts: a ridge of hair handing over his forehead like a cliff edge.

His eyes though, were a very sharp sky blue, a summer's sky blue, with little silver tendrils here and there in the iris. His build was... some said "spidery" but he didn't like spiders: they were cute an' all, but the way they crawled was very much _not._

So there he was, a little awkward but getting into the swing of the bike as it sped down the hill, turning down the roads he needed to, houses whizzing past as the mechanical rattle of the bike rattled past the people walking up and down the hill; turning heads as he went, some in amusement, some in frustration as he almost rode into them.

**X**

There was this particularly very steep indeed side of the hill, which was almost like a vertical drop and looked like it should be in one of those surrealism abstract paintings.

Merlin was on the descent of it now.

It was nicknamed "Avalon's Descent" funnily enough, by the locals.

There was also a train track placed at the bottom, which split the valley in two.

People could hear distant wail-like screams, while waiting as the bars went down, stripped yellow and black, with the lights of the crossing bleeping and flashing a ruby red, alternatively hopping from one side of the lamp to the other.

Merlin then almost crashed into the bar, but was able to stop the bike before he flipped over it from the sudden stop and resulting momentum.

The bike's brakes screeched, sounding very old and very nearly broken from their harsh abuse.

People cried out in indignation, while others giggled, particularly the females, at Merlin's regular clumsiness.

'Sorry for the rush very morning,' Merlin said, while turning a very flattering hue of tomato red at the embarrassment of almost colliding with several mothers, children and business men.

**X**

Merlin had crossed the crossing, and was almost at Ealdor High, when he spotted his best friend, the Arthur Pendragon.

Now, Arthur Pendragon was a bit elusive, because he was new this year, no one really knowing who his parents were, where he lived and such like, but he and Merlin were fast friends, thick as thieves, despite the constant banter and... well, you'll see,

'Hey!' Merlin shouted, a bit whiny, as he caught up to Arthur on his bike, listening to his MP3, headphones plugged into his ear sockets.

Upon realising Merlin's presence next to him, Arthur stopped the little beating of his hands to the rhythm of his music, smiled brightly straight at Merlin, who was peddling alongside him now, and pulled out a headphone, the one closest to Merlin so he could hear him better, so the right one.

'Arthur!' Merlin called again, even though Arthur was well in range.

'Hey Merlin,' Arthur grinned, 'Cutting it close this morning, don't you think?' Arthur proceeding to be a smug dickhead, the air around him just oozing his self-satisfaction, 'Maybe you should get up earlier.' The suggestion that he was so almighty in knowledge and cool in style did not go unnoticed on Merlin.

'That's priceless coming from _you!'_ Merlin exclaimed, clearly warmly irritated by Arthur's teasing. He didn't mind really, but Arthur could be so... _Arthur_ sometimes!

'Fell back to sleep, didn't you?' Arthur provoked, putting on a mocking tone and higher voice, his grin never failing, his pearly teeth shining, with the last remnants of saliva disappearing in the next breeze on this GOD AWFUL HOT DAY!

'Shut up!' Merlin said, very much flustered, and sped on ahead into the school gates...

Then actually _into _the school, Merlin boiling and blushing at Arthur's laughter, bright and brilliant, deep and deafening, just like his smile and the sun above.

'What's in the basket?' Arthur called as he was the one to catch up this time.

'None of your business!' Merlin shouted, knowing so very well that Arthur thought it "absolute class" that Merlin of all people, of all _boys, _had a straw basket on his bike.

Merlin was _not_ a girl! No matter what Arthur said, and how often he reminded him.

It was bloody irritating, Merlin thought: he and Arthur were practically the same age, yet Arthur still acted like he was older.

Arthur was unnaturally fit for his age; muscular, toned. All his clothes were comfortably tight on his skin, not because he bought them like that for the style, but because they sized on him like that anyway.

Today, Arthur was wearing a dark red t-shirt, his school short-sleeve shirt open, overhanging him as it gusted in another breeze, or by the bike's motions. On his left wrist he wore a navy sweatband.

Merlin never saw him without it.

'Come on, tell me,' Arthur spoke, with genuine, radiant apology in his voice for vexing Merlin so.

**X**

Merlin crashed into the classroom, near the top floor now.

Bloody sixth form layout!

He panted to his desk, and thumped down into it, catching his breath, his bag being flung to his side.

Merlin's desk was on the second column from the left, on the left being a large rectangular window, overlooking the central courtyard. There were six columns in total, each with six seats in a row.

'Barely made it again,' Lancelot said with the appearance of being unimpressed but was amused because it was Merlin. Lancelot sat on Merlin's left, which made Lance on the column closest to the window.

Lancelot was your classic "good guy".

He had a shorter hair cut this year, and was very "knightly" in his actions towards others.

His reading glasses were profound brown, rectangles.

Merlin had a distant thought that the early bird and punctual prefect was hogging all his much needed breeze.

'Why don't you give us some variety and be _late _for a change,' at the end of this, Lancelot turned the page of his probably textbook, Merlin thought.

He may have sworn at Lance under his breath... maybe twice.

Upon hearing this, Arthur came up behind Lance and came to protect Merlin's virtue, 'Why so early this morning Lance?' Arthur pushed him with his elbow as boys do in such situations of teasing, 'Forget to jerk yourself off this morning?' He whispered loudly in his ear then pulled away, bubbling with hilarity.

At this, Lancelot turned round to Arthur, clearly shocked and going a bit pale at the mention of such things, while Merlin looked on in mirth.

Merlin realised Arthur's grin never faulted.

And then that grin was directed at Merlin, and from the glint in Arthur's eye, it was as if Arthur was checking that Merlin found him funny, the way his features paused, still smiling of course, still chuckling of course, but paused in waiting certainly supported the idea.

And having a face like that thrust at him, filled with so much life and big blue eyes, how could Merlin not give Arthur his reward?

'Ha Ha, _very funny_,' Lancelot said with equal laughs as he and Arthur then proceeded to greet each other with punches to the arms and a mini arm wrestle as Arthur sat down behind him; which made Arthur at a diagonal to Merlin, southwest, if you like.

'Just in time,' Merlin said to himself, thankful that he didn't have to do yet another detention for lack of punctuality.

But there was another feeling that Merlin was consulting: he felt a silent pool of warmth in the pit of his stomach, which then flushed to the contours of his skin. This wasn't an uncharacteristic reaction to Arthur's antics, Merlin had always experienced these glows within when he was around Arthur, but they were worrying him as of late, because they were becoming a lot more significant.

At that moment, the teacher walked in, Dr. Gaius, with a suspicious and very ominous looking pile of papers.

Merlin looked on in horror at them and his sudden dark thoughts were beginning to rage, but he was distracted by Arthur who poked him in the shoulder with his voice, 'We're getting lucky this week,' he said, still way too happy for a Wednesday morning.

Merlin turned round, his full attention now on Arthur and his beaming features, 'We're lucky? I'm the lucky one, I had to race all the way here!'

'Excuse me,' Arthur said, pulling a face with a hidden grin.

Merlin was about to make a very clever comeback, that was until Dr. Gaius spoke up, 'Now class, why do you think I took so long to get here,' he proclaimed, while waving a booklet-like piece of paper in his hand.

'Not a _test_!' Someone whined in the back.

'Yes, Mr. Macken: a nice, surprise test to check your progress.'

The class groaned loudly in mutual angst.

Merlin suddenly lunged forward in his seat, hands slapped down, face drained of all blood and panicking quietly inside his mind, 'What!?' he shouted, clearly panicking.

**X**

Merlin's got to say, that he's pretty lucky most of the time, not only that, but he has good instincts too. Because of that, his grades are okay. He knew he wasn't a brain, but he wasn't a complete idiot either.

Dr. Gaius was patrolling the room, checking no one was cheating and such like. Merlin glanced to Lance; of course, he was getting really into it. But when his eyes got to Arthur...

The guy was _fucking sleeping!_

Or at least dozing, which was just as bad!

Dr. Gaius noticed this, and when he got to Arthur's desk, lifted the exam and found it fully tried, every question answered.

However, when Dr. Gaius got to Merlin, he found Merlin in a different state to both that of his friends.

Merlin's thoughts were as follows:

'_Is this a fucking IQ test?! Who likes an IQ test on a bloody Wednesday morning? _

_And what do they show anyway? What happens if you get good grades but then do shit in an IQ test? Does that mean people will think you've cheated or the IQ test was shit to begin with? But what happens if you reverse it? What happens if you do shit in exams but have a really high IQ? Does that mean that you're mentally challenged or just lazy? Tests and exams are completely pointless...'_

Dr. Gaius loomed over Merlin's left shoulder quite menacingly, then said loudly, 'You have five minutes remaining,' then walked on.

Merlin was stuck on question 13... of 30.

'_I'm not dumb... by most standards!_

_This time doesn't count!'_

**X**

Another new thing to this year's sixth form, Merlin lamented with much sorrow, was that every student had to take an hour's lesson on "Food Tech" each Wednesday, but it wouldn't be one of their options and they wouldn't be graded; it was under this new programme trying to get students better "Life Skills".

So as you can guess, next was Merlin's Food Tech lesson.

If Merlin was asked, he would say that he wasn't especially skilled in anything, but he wasn't a walking disaster either.

Today they were making stir fry or curry or something because as yet another programme to help communities they were having a, "Cultural Creativity Week" in schools, it didn't affect the sixth form that much because they needed to focus on their studies, so for them it basically meant cooking non-British foods for a week, which most families did anyway.

Merlin, with chopsticks as was dared by Arthur, his chosen partner for Food Tech because otherwise he really wouldn't survive it, tried to move a king prawn into the wok. However, they must have put too much oil into it or something, because the next thing Merlin knew was that he was backing and hopping away from the wok, burnt hand scalded with hot liquid. He then, obviously, knocked into somebody who nudged him out their way, resulting in Merlin grabbing for a chopping board because his balance was absolutely terrible. But the chopping board was half on half off the table with a cabbage on it. So when Merlin tried to secure his landing with its aid, the chopping board fell to the floor, making Merlin crash down and the cabbage to be catapulted into his and Arthur's wok; the oil spilled over the sides from the impact, and then it caught fire.

Merlin laid on the floor, sprawled out, clutching his burnt hand, while the teacher panicked for him, 'Why are you all just standing there!' she screamed calmly, 'Get a fire extinguisher!'

Will got it, which was good of him, and blasted the contains at the wok...

Which made it slip _everywhere, _thus there was a huge havoc.

Arthur, throughout all of this, was bloody kicking himself with laughter, splitting his sides with it, practically doubled over.

Merlin glared at him with vehemence.

He was going to fucking _kill_ that blonde!

'_Again,' _Merlin thought to himself, as the teacher glared at _him _with vehemence, '_an exception!'_

**X**

Merlin was also pretty careful most the time, so he didn't get hurt too bad.

They were in the courtyard, walking to their spot of "hanging out".

By "they" I mean Merlin and Morgana, who Merlin described as a, "sane witch" if you can use those two words together.

Merlin was a bit down from what had happened that morning, and thus further depressed when he remembered Arthur had a football meeting that break time.

The courtyard was a large area in the middle of the school buildings. Between the Arts and Sciences blocks it resided, with four lush green patches of summer grass, split with a dirt path of cream gravel like stones in the shape of a plus sign. There was a chestnut tree on the southeast grassy patch, placed on the northwest corner of that patch, so it kind of gave shade to the courtyard's junction.

Quite a few students came here, mainly the upper years.

Merlin noticed Kay and Valiant being the dickheads they were, Kay swinging Valiant by his feet.

'_Idiots' _Merlin thought with a passion.

He and Morgana were walking together so that they were coming up for the junction, the chestnut tree on their right.

'Are you sure you're alright?' Morgana asked with giggles but a concern was there.

Merlin noticed all her laughing, but decided to let it slip; Morgana was a bitch to everyone.

'Yeah, but my hand still bloody hurts' and Merlin reached for it in his dismay, as like a wounded animal would do to inspire sympathy.

Morgana was alien to emotions such as compassion.

She giggled on,

'But didn't Arthur give you something for it?'

Merlin was going to answer, but just then they heard a bellow, and the next thing Merlin knows, is that Valiant is flying towards him, Morgana dodged it out the way, and now they're both flat on their faces, of course, after they had a very painful encounter with the tree trunk.

Everyone started to crowd round them, asking if they were okay, but all Merlin was fixed on was going cherry red in anger, screaming, 'Get the _fuck_ off me you idiot!'

Morgana giggled on.

**X**

Ealdor High also has a "volunteer" group in the sixth form: basically where the higher years can help the younger students with work, clean the school, organise inter-year events, and in exchange they get big brownie points to put on their CV in the future.

There were such two girls on this group, Morgana, as strange as Merlin thought, with her good friend and sister, Morgause. These two leading ladies were helping a Year 11, Gwen, as she liked to be called.

Gwen had a crush on Lancelot, so the girls were basically trying to get her to ask him out.

Currently, now that the two volunteers had cohering free periods, and Gwen was let out early, the three were in the field at the back of the school, looking out onto the school's PE courts, where Arthur had just thrown a basketball at Lancelot's head for probably saying something smart, and Lancelot was now chasing him.

The three girls sat on the field's hill, which was only split in two by a cement path which was designed and shaped to connect the courts with the other buildings of the school. Save for the numerous trees, they had a pretty good view.

'I don't think this has anything to do with your blood type horoscope,' Morgause wisely spoke.

'Yeah but it says they're not compatible!' Morgana cried out in terror.

Gwen groaned in between them as they half spoke over her head and half checked out the scene before them.

'It could be dicey' Morgana said gravely, putting the magazine down into her lap and giving a sad sigh.

'Who cares if it's dicey, she's the one making the decision.' Morgause said back, taking a sip of her coke.

Gwen made a small noise, high and nervous, but no words came out.

**X**

So that was Merlin's day...

After school or at least 1pm, when their school day finished giving the sixth form, "independent study", Merlin, Arthur and Lancelot typically went to the local court not too far from the school grounds.

However, Merlin and Mithian had to move the morning's test papers to the prep room to be marked. Merlin thought that was such a weird place to put them, but as it turns out they needed to be kept somewhere safe; somewhere that was locked and out of bounds so no "tapering" could be done.

Merlin was touched that the teachers trusted him to not change some answers which he thought were undeniably abysmal.

Merlin and Mithian were in the classroom, both with brooms since Dr. Gaius asked them to do a quick clean up too.

Mithian came up to Merlin, who was eyeing the papers with a dreading for the future.

'Hey, Merlin,' Mithian said, quietly, realising Merlin was in some kind of trance.

Merlin startled and looked to her, upon realising it wasn't some ghost about to kill him.

Mithian was nice, Merlin supposed, a little too nice if he was honest. She was pretty but not in the sort of stereotypical way: she had nice eyes, nice hair, fair skin... but it was completely out of the league of most of the girls at the school. She seemed... mature, in her looks, Merlin thought that was it.

'Oh, hey, Mithian,' Merlin smiled, forgetting the exams for a bit.

Mithian spoke up, obviously finding it strange and a bit scary to be talking to Merlin.

He wondered why she'd find talking to him nerve-wracking.

'Have you decided to go with Arts or Sciences yet?'

_Another _new programme: the school had decided that for the last year of sixth form, since most of the students would be dropping a subject and only carry three onto A2, they thought the most "capable" students should do some fancy extra course in a chosen Arts or Sciences path.

Merlin was one of those, "capable" yet seriously; he thought he couldn't handle it.

Merlin didn't really get it, but the school loved brownie points so...

'Not yet,' Merlin said, looking down; it was moments like these that Merlin realised he wasn't a child anymore, and it hurt and troubled him in equal measures: the unknown just behind the door, yet he tended to ignore the future a lot, saved time in the present worrying.

'How 'bout you?' he said, with a weak smile and a weaker spirit, trying to change the topic off of him.

'Still thinking,' she said, maybe relieved that someone else still hadn't decided when the deadline for the slips was in a fortnight. She smiled then, her full lips stretched thin around her teeth.

'_Jesus,'_ Merlin thought, '_she has a really big smile!'_

'Good,' he returned the sentiment, 'I'm glad I'm not the only one,' then he looked to the white board in front of them because Mithian was way too radiant talking about this.

She was usually a shy kind of girl.

She calmed down, facial feature wise, thank god.

'It's a big decision to make,' her voice now a bit quicker, a bit quieter.

'Hey, Merlin!'

_Arthur._

His voice could be heard from the courtyard, loud and obnoxious.

Merlin and Mithian both turned their heads.

'How much longer you going to make us wait?' He grinned out.

Merlin legged it to the window, infuriated by Arthur's audacity.

'You could always come and _help!'_ He shouted out into the lower level.

Lancelot was standing coolly, watching, while Arthur cycled round him on his bike, looking up at Merlin, in some twisted form of a provoking dance.

'Like _that's _ever going to happen.'

'_Arthur smiles way too much!'_

However Lance stepped in before Merlin tried to throw his broom at Arthur's face, 'Just hurry up alright?'

'Yeah yeah,' he brushed off.

He turned round then, to take the papers up, because he was kind like that and said Mithian didn't have to do it, but he found Mithian blushing, then realising Merlin was staring, kind of startled.

She recovered herself quickly, but said something else, while Merlin placed his broom in the cupboard next to the board and went to pick up the hill of exams, 'I wonder,' she started tentatively, 'I wonder what Arthur's going to do,' Merlin paused while struggling with the tests.

You know, for paper, these were bloody heavy!

'I don't know,' he said, because it was obvious Mithian said something anyway for an answer, 'Probably Science,' his voice was strained, just like his arms were aching, 'he's not the book type, lazy sod,' he said the last bit in a whisper, because cursing Arthur was easy when he was in physical pain, because Arthur was usually the cause of it.

'Anyway, why'd you bring up Arthur?' Now Merlin was curious...

She couldn't answer, and by the way she looked, it didn't seem she wanted too, because Will came in just then, saying quite unbecomingly, 'Merlin! Hurry up and bring those papers up to the Prep Room,' then left, slamming the door.

**X**

School stairs are steeper than the usual kind, or so Merlin thought, as he climbed the mountain of a school. The staircases were of the classic layout: one leap of stairs going up, then a flat bit like platform where you turn to start another leap of stairs, then after that you're on the next floor.

'What a hassle!' Merlin exclaimed miserably, or it would have been, if his voice wasn't muffled by the stack of papers he was carrying and the exertion his body had to go through to do it.

Once he got to the top floor of the school... it seemed so desolate.

The corridors had dull green shiny floors, with a greyish white paint for the walls. Some corkboards were put up here and there, telling students about what's what and what's going on. He turned around, so he was facing the massive window that was behind the spiral of stairs, opposite to him: the light was shining in, quite beautifully, Merlin thought.

Once he then got to the prep room, his arms were ready to prepare for mass mutiny.

Thank the heaven's that the door to the prep room was a sliding one, so Merlin could jog it with his foot, otherwise he'd have to let go of the exams and he really didn't want to have to pick them up again.

He staggered to the teacher's table, or something that looked like a teacher's table, and plonked the papers down.

He was mildly sweaty.

He was about to leave, when something caught his eye.

He saw movement in the other room; then noises of chairs wobbling and tables being knocked.

Merlin cautiously stepped up to the door, knowing no one should be in there.

He reached for the yellow brass handle slowly, turned the knob then burst in quickly.

Merlin was ready to be all high and mighty and tell the little brats to go do something worthwhile with their lives, but, 'It's empty...' Merlin said aloud, glancing around at the workbenches filled with science equipment: conical flasks, oxides in special tubs, carbonate powder spills, and the general apparatus everywhere. There were a few glass and wooden cabinets on the walls, filled with similar stuff, and with the light streaming in from the window; everything had a sheen of reflecting light to it. On the far wall to Merlin's right, was the other door to the room.

He strolled slowly around the tables, looking for... something, something to indicate maybe someone was hiding, because he was sure it sounded like someone was in here.

He walked round skeletons and fossils, yet... all seemed well.

Merlin went to the other door then, to see if some little shit was behind it, but when he went to tug it open and shout, it was locked.

Merlin then felt a mild discomfort in his stomach.

The person, if there even was any, could only have gotten in through the other door, but Merlin had seen no one.

Now a bit more freaked out then he'd like to be, Merlin went to organise the exams: the quicker he did that, the quicker he could get out.

But upon moving past one of the bench tables, he must have dislodged something, because a seed dropped down.

The noise of it hitting the floor and bouncing a bit echoed in the silent room.

Merlin paused, scrunching his face up in examination.

It looked like a Deku Nut if he was perfectly honest.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, someone moved in the shadows.

Panicking out of his mind and senses in disarray from the abrupt stimulation, Merlin tried to turn to see who it was, but his feet got tangled and he fell backwards, slapping the floor and elbowing the "Deku Nut".

He yelped in confusion, but he didn't see a ceiling.

High pitched noises assaulted his ears, and it felt like he was on a rollercoaster, speeding upwards in a seat that was accelerating tenfold by the second. He was properly yelling now, frightened beyond believe, eyes wide as he hit an upside down lake, water entrapping his body, bubbles everywhere, then he was spun round and was pelted out of this body of water, into a sensation that felt like he was falling. He was tumbling, free-wheeling, cart-wheeling, spiralling, whirling, spinning, turning, rotating, revolving, slamming through the air with hurrying, escalating velocity. All he could see was this blinding whiteness, yet it was as if he could see the air itself move past him. He heard it, sharp like daggers in his ear, increasing in strength, until there was a critical point where it was all just one high pitched stream of beaming noise. Then, as if in a dream, he suddenly struck the floor, and with a jolt as if he had died in this dream, battered back down a second time... into the prep room, lying unharmed where he would have fallen naturally.

**X**

They usually played baseball for a bit, only because they couldn't really play basketball because Merlin was hopeless at the sport, much to the enjoyment of the other two, mainly Arthur, and they couldn't play tennis, because Arthur won every match and you couldn't really have a fair match of tennis with three people.

So there they were, in the blazing heat, playing baseball; the sun beating down on them with only a few clouds in the sky, and even they were purest white.

Merlin laughed at how American it all was, the sport that is. Lancelot gave him a disapproving look, but said no more.

One would throw; the other bat, and the third field.

Arthur was _still _laughing at Merlin, after he told them of his, "accident". He didn't go into details of the strange experience he had, he left that part out.

Merlin was throwing at the moment, Arthur batting, Lance fielding.

If Merlin was a volcano right now, Arthur would be Pompeii.

'Are you an idiot or what?' Arthur chuckled, the bat shaking in his hands, ready, 'My stomachs killing me!'

'Come on,' Lance, ever the peacemaker, 'it's not that funny,' he called from where he was.

Merlin turned to Arthur, looking unimpressed and very much discomfited now, 'He's right,' he shouted, maybe a bit too loudly, 'You're laughing _way _too hard,' and Merlin proceeded to throw the ball, aiming for Arthur's head.

Now, it wasn't that Merlin was a bad thrower, it was just because he was angry, and Arthur was distracting him: that's why Arthur had to jog a bit to the right to hit the ball.

As it soared through the air, Arthur's laughter could still be distinguished, 'But it's hilarious!'

By this time, Merlin was glaring knives at him and wondered if a bat through the head would shut him up, while Lance caught the ball and called for Merlin to catch it.

He did, never looking away from Arthur, eyes on his prey.

Lance was mildly impressed by the catch, and looked on.

'Shut _up_!' He threw the ball again, this time, hitting Arthur in the chest.

Merlin smiled, happy now.

'Do you wanna go to my dad's for a CT scan?'

Merlin was both flattered for the concern but also a bit shocked that Lance could think he could ever injury himself _that _badly!

'No! Thank you very much! I'm fine, alright?'

Arthur had got the ball now and lobbed it at Merlin, he ducked, Lance catching it.

'Take it easy,' Lance said, cool despite the summer's sun, 'but it could happen again.'

'It _won't'_ Merlin shouted, violently offended that his two best friends could gang up on him like this, both with different tactics, both with the similar effect of making Merlin feel like a complete and utter idiot!

'And if it does,' he started, running to catch Lance's throw, 'I have a serious problem.'

He was, quite cleverly, trying to change the tilt on this and just go with the fact that he had a dilemma when it came to balance, but then Arthur ruined it,

'You're right,' he grinned, 'it's not normal for someone to collapse like that.'

Merlin saw red, and if they saw steam coming out his ears, he wouldn't be surprised.

'Hey! Someone else was in that room!'

And suddenly, by Merlin's outburst, the air changed.

Arthur sobered up, and Lance looked aloofly apprehensive.

'What do you mean?'

'Like... who?' Arthur stammered.

'Hmm I wonder,' Merlin dripped out with sarcasm, giving Arthur a very pointed look; it wouldn't be the first time Arthur went out his way to plan Merlin's demise.

But apparently, it wasn't so this time and Arthur looked back with innocence, 'You think I had something to do with it?' his voice was placidly higher than normal.

Change victims.

'Maybe _not_,' and on the last syllable he turned to Lance. The prefect wasn't that much of a plotter, but that didn't mean he didn't like teasing Merlin when he got the chance, especially when fuelled by Arthur's influence.

Lancelot looked put out and a mixture of affronted and afraid of Merlin's doom gaze, 'So _I'm _the bad guy suddenly?'

And there was silence, apart from the occasional cricket and birdsong.

'Who else could of it have been?'

**X**

After a little bite to eat, they decided it was too hot for baseball, so resorted to just a nice simple game of catch.

In a triangle on the court, the dried grass a dull creamy yellow; things were starting to go back to normal.

'_Man _it's hot out here,' Arthur complained. He recently took off his school shirt, so he was just left in his t-shirt. It was sleeveless though, giving a perfect display of his toned arms.

Merlin didn't realise he was staring.

'Suck it up! The summer holidays are almost here anyway.'

Lance's voice snapped him out of it, and he was thankful neither had noticed.

'Yeah,' Merlin said, voice cheerful and hopeful, hopefully masking his inner flush, 'We should go someplace.'

The ball was with Arthur now, he threw it to Merlin while saying, 'How about a night gig?'

'We did that last month. That's all you ever want to do.' Merlin teased, and threw to Lance.

'Well do you have any better ideas?'

'How about the beach?' The beach was nice.

'In _this _heat!' Arthur exclaimed, acting as if he had just been told the world was about to end. He caught Lance's ball.

'Well then how about a fireworks festival? I heard there's one in Mercia in about a fortnight. Tickets still selling.'

Arthur perked up, obviously lightening to that idea.

'Yeah, that's a possibility.'

Merlin beamed.

Lance coughed. Merlin hoped he wasn't about to get a cold. He didn't think Lancelot had hay fever.

Lance eyed downwards, Merlin following the movement.

Oh right! Merlin had the ball.

He quickly tossed it.

'Where do you want to go Lance?'

The boy smiled knowingly, a little something playing on the way the edges of his lips were tugged by his cheeks, 'to the library.'

'_What?' _both Merlin and Arthur shouted in union.

'I'm hitting the books,' and then hurled the ball happily to Arthur, 'you two do the festival.'

'Your brain's gonna melt if you keep shoving shit in there during this heat wave,' and Arthur lobbed the ball to Merlin, giving him a playful wink.

Merlin smiled sweetly back, agreeing whole-heartedly; eyes scrunching.

'You guys don't study nearly enough!' Lance shouted, defending his honour.

'I don't have to, I'm smart _enough _already,' Arthur cocked out.

Lance looked unconvinced; then once he secured Merlin's shot, directed himself to Merlin, hoping to push some sense into at least one of the two.

'What are you going to be after school then?'

Merlin caught the ball.

'_What?'_ he said softly, quietly.

That was unfair, pinning the spotlight on Merlin.

He shoved the ball at Lance's leg, 'A hotel tycoon!'

Lance recovered, not as athletic as Arthur, Merlin thought slyly, but still worthy of a medal.

'Get real! It's nothing to joke about.'

Why did Lance always have to be so serious all the time!

'What are you gonna do Arthur?' Merlin said, maybe a tad bit too desperately for back-up, while they all stared up at Lance's high shot into the air, making a point somehow, some way.

'Who me?' Arthur stepped back, never looking down, paused a bit, and Merlin thought that was uncharacteristic, 'I don't know.'

The sun then ignited in a wave, so Arthur couldn't see the landing meteor, which promptly knocked him on the forehead.

Merlin burst into giggles.

Lance looked on.

'You two have got to start taking life more seriously.'

**X**

Arthur was washing his sweaty face in the nearby fountain, in the shade of an avenue of trees that was next to the court.

Merlin _wasn't _looking at Arthur, studying various parts of him, when he realised the apples were still in his basket.

'Going already?' Lance accused sadly, as Merlin rushed to his bike.

'Yeah, I just remembered something my mum wanted me to do.'

Arthur then quickly shot up with extraordinary speed, looking like a lost deer in headlights, but he joked it off, 'No no no no: don't be a party pooper, your leaving me with the nerd!'

But Merlin was already halfway down the avenue.

'Guess so, see ya,' Merlin turned a bit on his bike to wave them goodbye.

'Come _on _Merlin, your heartless.'

Merlin giggled how Arthur's voice broke slightly on the "heartless".

**X**

'Let's get going,' a tired, large woman uttered out to her child, a carefree spirit of eight, and a healthy looking boy.

'But the train's almost coming!'

They were on Avalon's Descent.

Merlin then whizzed past, almost knocking her over.

'Hey! Watch where you're going!'

'I'm sorry,' Merlin whined out.

The ruby lights started flashing, their high beeping started, and the barriers started lowering.

Merlin pulled the brakes.

They moved, but didn't work.

In that moment, Merlin felt his heart move, but not work either.

He tried again; it was probably him just being stupid.

The brakes clicked, but the bike still rattled past the crowds on the hill, shops and houses hurtling past him.

He tried again, and again, but still the bike didn't respond. Merlin started panicking, cold flushes subsiding into full blown rushes of energy. His mind was buzzing, and he looked up to see the barriers had completed their drop.

The trains were coming round the corner now.

He put his legs down, his heels scrapping the cement as he yelled out his alarm.

People started to look now, confused.

Merlin's bike shuddered as it picked up speed; Merlin's left shoe flying past him. He forgot to redo his laces after he left Arthur and Lance.

Merlin was now completely screaming, but before anyone could do anything he collided with the barrier with a gong like echo.

The bike jumped up, flipping Merlin off it, resulting in a catapult like motion to fling Merlin into the path of the oncoming train.

He saw the world upside down, people gathered at the crossway, hopeless in helping him.

He heard the world silently, thoughts and ideas passing by him sadly.

The train smashed into his body and sped past, the crash and crunch deafening.

**X**

The next thing Merlin knew was that he was falling off his bike, aching all over, the back wheel still clicking.

'Hey! Could you watch where you're going?' a tired, large woman uttered out to Merlin with venom.

He looked up, absolutely confused and a little bit thoughtless.

'So, are you going to say something, the least you could do is give an apology!' She chucked Merlin's bike off her, strong for her age, but Merlin supposed that was because she was a bit large.

'I'm sorry,' Merlin began, 'I'm really sorry.'

'Do you know why God gave you eyes on the front of your head? It was so you could see where you're _going!'_ She had some pipes on her.

'Yes, I'll try and be more careful next time, I'm really sorry.'

She humped up, grabbed her child's hand, but he pulled back, 'But the train's almost here!'

'_What?' _Merlin thought, stunned to the ground, '_It can't be...'_

The ruby lights started flashing, their high beeping started, and the barriers started lowering.

The train zoomed past, the wheels booming up and down, or across the tracks, Merlin was unknown to it.

'_Impossible!' _Merlin said aloud, and was from then on speechless and felt a wee bit like he was about to faint.

Good thing he was on the ground then.

**X**

'Auntie Witch!' Merlin screamed out when he saw her coming down the grand staircase.

Merlin's aunt worked at the local art gallery, which was known for its leading expertise in restoring old masterpieces.

Nimueh was one with such skills.

She was gliding down the stairs, which were in the back centre of the entrance hall, which was decked out in chocolate browns and deep hues of wood that you only expect in an arts museum.

Merlin had cycled all the way there, once he was able to move his body. He cycled all the way there, eyes never blinking, vision hazy, and it was only when he went to open the doors to the gallery that he realised his hands were still shaking. Then he noticed his legs felt increasingly numb, and, probably coming out of some state of shock, was halfway through something like a nervous breakdown.

'Auntie Witch!' Merlin screamed out, running to meet her halfway, the bag of apples in hand.

'I'm alive aren't I? There's nothing wrong with me is there? You can see me can't you? I'm not dead am I? Please say you can hear me!' Merlin babbled out with haste unparalleled.

Nimueh, in a long dark skirt with a white shirt and cardigan, looked at Merlin in study.

Merlin waited for her answer, sincerely believing that he had well and truly lost it this time.

'You seem a little flushed, my dear,' she proceeded to touch his cheek, but she had to stop, because Merlin began to spontaneously self-combust into almost tears. His sharp throaty sobs echoed in the large polished hall, always followed by a heavy sniff.

He wasn't one for crying in public, gave many girls many speeches against it, but he was at the edge of his sanity, so Nimueh quickly took him to her office, which was a nicely decorated set of rooms near the top floor, some for leisure and comfort purposes, some for work.

**X**

'What you experienced was a "time leap"' Nimueh softly spoke with smooth delivery.

Merlin, sitting compacted on her sofa, cradled the mug of green tea she had given him to calm his nerves.

His cheeks were still a bit wet, but he had mainly recovered now.

She sat from her desk's chair, turned round obviously to face him.

'Time leap?' Merlin said in half disbelief and half astonishment.

Nimueh paused, as if confused her relation had never heard of such a thing. She spoke next with a tone as if to clear the air, 'You were about to be hit by a train, correct?'

'Yes,' Merlin said, feeling serene, surreal chills down his lower back at the thought.

'Shortly after being thrown from your bike?'

'Yeah'

'Then when you came-to, you had gone back a few minutes in time, just before the train came through the crossing?'

'Exactly!'

'_That's _what you call a time leap' she smiled, her eyes disappearing in her mirth at Merlin's expression.

He was blown out of his mind.

'You see, time can never be reversed, time itself can never go back, so it was _you _who went back in time,'

Merlin still looked a bit confused, his face mirroring the condition of the room they were in, which was littered with reference books and oil paints.

'In other words, you leapt through time and returned to the past,' Nimueh explained with finality.

Merlin paused, felt a beat naturally pass.

'Are you sure?'

Nimueh did that smile again, 'Yes, it is a rare occurrence, but not unheard of.'

Merlin's mind was screaming with... what's a word or phrase to describe the sensation that all you knew about the physical world was actually close to a load of bollocks?

And how come his aunt knew so much?

He settled that to her just being the type to know, she was like that, and he didn't like asking her too many questions anyway: he worried about where her line was.

'It happened to me,' now Merlin was _definitely _listening.

'Say you wake up one Sunday morning and feel like doing nothing at all: all you want is a nice lie in and then to just do gentle things like play games, watch films or draw a picture... sound familiar?'

'But then,' and here, she seemed genuinely upset and dramatic, 'before you know it's already evening,' she paused, as if to hold back tears, and Merlin didn't know whether she was taking the piss or sincerely sad about recalled thoughts, 'it comes as quite a shock.'

'You're like, "What happened to my precious Sunday?"'

She was _so strange!_

'I wish you'd take me more seriously, I'm not joking around here!'

She smiled again and now Merlin was confused for more reasons, 'Anyway, it's a good thing that you're _alive_.'

Merlin didn't appreciate the tone.

**X**

Merlin lay on his bed, exhausted to say the least, and let the thoughts rush through his mind.

"Leaping through time?" Who heard of a more ridiculous notion?

Nimueh kept on going on about how if Merlin got the technique down; he could probably do it again... and consciously this time.

But it wasn't possible!

Was it?

He did fly through the air, he supposed...

But he was scared: he felt the train crash into him; he felt the metal against his skin cold and unnerving.

He could still feel an ominous press at his side if he concentrated enough.

He died once.

And, with these dark thoughts, Merlin curled up on the bed, staring at nothing in particular.

But then, quite surprisingly, he was overcome with this insistent need to try it again. The nagging was extremely sudden and overwhelmingly powerful.

So, just to shut up his mind, (seriously, at times Merlin thought he had some kind of split-personality disorder), he stood on his bed, duvet soft and dipping under his feet, really couldn't fathom that he was deliberately considering this as a legit option... closed his eyes and leapt.

'Like this?' Freya asked sweetly.

She and Hunith were in the kitchen, preparing dinner, and Hunith was showing her how to properly cut an onion.

When rapidly they heard a large bang followed by a clattering sound.

'What was that?'

But Hunith would never know, as Merlin lay in his room, holding onto his throbbing head for dear life.

So it didn't work... see? It's impossible.

But Merlin wanted to try again, he didn't know explicitly why, maybe to cement the fact that he was indeed still here, still living, and not going slowly insane.

Because if it worked then... Merlin hadn't died, so then, all was well, he reasoned.

Freya started walking up the stairs onto the landing, perplexed as to the sound's origin.

She opened Merlin's bedroom door to find him opening his window and proceeding to jump out.

'No! Merlin, don't do it!'

She lunged for him, pulled him by his t-shirt and swung him back into the room, Merlin's yelp very clear.

Laying on the floor, yet again so bloody confused as to how he kept ending up like this, Merlin was welcomed with Freya's face filled with feeling, 'I'm so sorry, this is all my fault isn't it?' She was crying now and Merlin really didn't know what the fuck was going on anymore. The world had gone insane, not him!

'Why would you do this Merlin? Was it because I ate your pudding? I know it was custard and you love custard but I couldn't resist! I'm so sorry!'

If there was some sort of global award for hysterics, Merlin would definitely enter his sister.

He just got up, thinking she'd completely lost the plot and that he'd have to "leap" somewhere else, dinner was in about half an hour anyway.

But Freya was having none of it: she latched her arms around his waist and begged for him to stay, 'I don't want you to die!'

'Nobody's going to die!'

'Where are you going then?'

'Up the road!'

'If it's pudding you want, I'll go buy it.'

'Don't worry about it!'

By this time, he was able to disentangle himself from the she-limpet and was trudging down the stairs, his mind in two completely different places. He felt like a ghost right now, not really knowing what to do.

'Are you mad?'

'No!' he shouted kindly, and slammed the front door.

**X**

Merlin found that he had made his way to Avalon River.

Avalon River was a stretch of water which was really like a massive lake, because you could only barely see what was on the other side.

It was a great place for sunsets.

To get to the shore, which uncannily resembled a shingle beach, you had to go down a slope, which at the top had the footpath.

Merlin was on this slope, looking out into the sunset, lost.

There were some kids trying to skip stones on the water, and he smiled faintly when they failed.

'_There is no way! How can someone leap back in time! It is definitely NOT possible!_

_No chance. At least, it's not something I can do.'_

With this last reassuring thought, he got up, brushed the grass off his bum, and started walking back up the slope.

Once he reached the top...

Merlin turned around so quickly he was surprised he didn't get whiplash, and pelted down the slope.

His gasps attracted all sorts of attention, and Merlin was just going with his instincts.

He yelled as he leaped, on the last bits of the shore, and the kids from earlier where struck dumb in amazement.

Merlin felt the same sensations as he did before, an increasing, constant falling.

He then crashed into his fridge.

The vibrating in his head wouldn't stop, and he only realised about after ten minutes rubbing his head that he was dressed in his school uniform.

He then started to panic, wondering where the hell he was, only to then discover the obvious fact that he was in his own home.

He didn't know why, but a part of his mind told him to open the fridge, so he did.

'Pudding?'

There it was: Merlin's custard pudding, the seal still wrapped on the top on the tub.

'My pudding, it's still here?'

He heard vaguely on the news that it was 12thJuly, a Tuesday.

Before things got anymore surreal and strange and bizarre, Merlin tucked into his custard, his taste buds singing.

Then the front door opened. Like a lightning bolt, Merlin hid behind the open kitchen door and he heard voices, voices he knew,

'How about that pudding?'

'I can eat it?'

'I'm pretty sure he'll be having something with Arthur.'

'I can have it then?'

'Yes, go on, I'll take the blame.'

'Yay!'

How could they!? His family was conspiring against him!

He jumped out from behind the door, infuriated and a bit wounded, 'There's no way you're getting it; this is mine!'

Hunith looked into the empty kitchen, she was sure the noise came from there, 'Merlin? When did you get home?' But no one answered, and she was very much mystified.

Merlin then found himself slamming into water.

Very cold water!

It entrapped him in an icy-amorous embrace, until he broke the surface, and panted for air, he was then so grateful he was near the shallow end.

He was in Avalon River.

But that wasn't important! 'Where's the pudding!' he shouted out loud, horrified. Then when a quick fruitless search gave him nothing, he swam to the shore and sulked, very wet, clothes ruined too, 'It's gone!'

But his ears found something interesting to listen to.

'Did you just see that jump that guy did?'

'Yeah'

'It was _awesome!'_

'You said it.'

'He vanished for a second too!'

'Oh come on! Get real! How could he just disappear? Now you're just lying.'

'I'm not lying, I saw it!'

And as the kids then started to bicker, Merlin's face dropped in realisation, his brain working at a mile a minute.

'Did I do it? A time leap?'

He opened the fridge door again, his custard pudding still there.

He grabbed it, and with likeness to a professor, who just discovered something truly remarkable, cried out, 'Delicious!'

Merlin then progressed to pace around his kitchen table, his face a little like a mad person, while stuffing his face silly.

'Wait a sec,' he started to mumble out between mouthfuls.

'This definitely isn't a dream!'

It wasn't: his house was very much real, so was his garden, so were the birds in that garden and the sounds of life around him; all of it was stimulating to his senses and none of it was fake or impartial in any way.

A bubble like sensation then started to break out in Merlin's body, starting at his core, then dissipating out into his limbs, when it reached his lips he gave the world a toothy grin, which he just couldn't resist.

The glee remained for as long as was dangerous.

'I can do it! I can leap through time!'


	2. The Middle Hop

**Look Before You Leap **

**Chapter 2**

**The Middle Hop**

_**Alice:**__ Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?  
__**The Cat:**__ That depends a good deal on where you want to get to_

**Alice In Wonderland**

'Bye Mum!' Merlin called from the porch, then opened the front door, ready for school: bright-eyed and bushy tailed.

'Have a good day,' Hunith called back, cleaning the kitchen.

Freya then slowly slugged in, still in her pyjamas, reaching for her glass of milk with all the effort she could muster in this morning's heat.

Hunith did a double take of her; paused her current actions and looked at her puzzled, 'What time is it?' she asked, now very curious indeed, with a vague notion she had forgotten something, something for Merlin to do.

'Too early,' Freya yawned.

On the news, faintly in the background, there was a woman saying that July 13th was meant to be "Nice Day" or something of that variation.

Merlin was the kind of boy who, when he was younger, used to have genuine conversations with woodlice, ladybirds and worms, looking at them wonderfully curious as they crawled along his hand.

Merlin was the kind of boy who, when he was younger, used to sincerely believe there were fairies at the bottom of the garden and, every Sunday, would leave them gifts so they would bless the house: things like thimbles or colourful pins. Along the years, a little shine had been built up.

Today, Merlin was that boy again.

He walked to school; no need to cycle, he'd have plenty of time.

And as he strolled down the lane, waltzing in the trees' shades, he thought that life was good.

Of course today was hot, but it wasn't coma-inducing hot. The wind was so pleasant, filled with colour if possible, and making the trees sing with their instrumental leaves. The ground hummed with the Earth's song and everything was just simply brimming with life; the world crammed with such vivid colours and sounds that dazzled.

Merlin was indeed very happy this morning, and had a spring in his step.

Merlin was saying good morning to everyone that he passed; some looking at him with cruel astonishment, others repeated the sentiment, pleasantly surprised that Merlin of all people was so early and being so nice.

Arthur got into school as he always did, _just _in time to avoid a detention.

When he got in, Lance quickly deadpanned with his nose in his latest textbook, 'Barely made it again, why don't you give us some variety and be late for a change.'

Above the usual classroom hum, Arthur's animated voice could still be heard as he bumped Lance in the shoulder with his elbow, 'Why so early Lance? Forget to jerk yourself off this morning?'

Lance had a reply, sure he did, no way was he going to let Arthur get away with that one, but Merlin quickly jumped in with his own, not to defend Lance, but as a tease to Arthur, 'Stop goofing off, _Arthur_, you should try waking up a little earlier like me,'

Both Lance and Arthur were shocked by his answer, but Arthur's expression was priceless: distilled bewilderment, and Merlin couldn't help the preventing of a hidden, one-sided smile.

'Wh-What are you doing here already?' Arthur's throaty reply was left unanswered.

It was only ten minutes into the surprise test: Lance really getting into it and Arthur beating his foot to a rhythm in his head, when Merlin stretched, sighed contently and whispered out loudly, 'I'm _allllllll _done.'

Several heads turned in various degrees of annoyance, Dr. Gaius' one in particular was most unimpressed.

Arthur and Lance however, gave Merlin a most friendly glare, one bemused and one jealous of Merlin's speed.

'Will?'

'Yeah?'

'Do you want to work with Arthur?'

Arthur looked heartbroken, eyes wide and a little hurt, but Merlin didn't notice: he was focusing on Will.

A little revenge was in order.

'Sure, but why?'

'Yeah, why Merlin?' Arthur piped up, clearly indisposed.

Merlin smiled at Arthur, and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder, 'You two need to start getting along.'

Later, Will dropped a king prawn into the oil-overloaded wok, not with chopsticks however, but with his bare hands because he was an idiot, jumped back in pain at his scalded hand, tried to find landing with a chopping board while he fell, but this chopping board was half-on, half-off the neighbouring table, so not only did Will strike the floor with a painful yelp, but a lettuce was flung into the pan, oil going everywhere, flames the resulting product.

The teacher cried for everyone to calm down, 'Just shut off the gas, please, Merlin. Will! Use the fire extinguisher.'

But he must had pulled it wrong or something, because the chemical agent fogged everywhere, blasting in people's eyes, the eyes of Kay and Valiant to be specific, 'Will! You fucking dickhead! You're gonna pay!'

'I-I didn't mean to do it, I'm sorry!'

Will looked very scared and very nervous, a crimson hue appearing on his face as everyone started yelling at him.

Merlin smiled slyly from the corner, and shut off the gas.

'Merlin, can I talk to you?' Morgana said, as she eyed up Merlin, 'You might not like what I have to say, but if you won't do anything about it then, well...' She looked at him intently, seeming a little nervous, which was odd, 'I know I might be wrong, but I think it's getting serious now... I think Arthur really-'

'Hold that thought,' Merlin said smugly.

He then flipped back, ultimately bending backwards. He loved that he was bendy sometimes.

When Valiant then came flying towards him, he just hit the tree in the courtyard, causing people who were sitting there to cry out in utter indignation.

When Merlin flipped back up, he was pleasurably flabbergasted by the mini applause he received.

Merlin took a little peak at his test paper while Mithian wasn't looking.

As he glanced at the top of the paper, his body flushed with pride to see he got 98%!

He praised himself for thinking to leap back to get some extra study time in.

'So... you going with Arts or Sciences?' Merlin hurriedly folded the paper and slipped in at the top of the pile.

Mithian then came up next to him, closed in on her broom.

'I don't know. But it doesn't really matter does it?'

Mithian looked quietly appalled at Merlin's lack of academic attention.

'Hey, Merlin!' Arthur shouted up, clearly looking to tease.

'Coming!' Merlin sung out as he jogged to the window, Mithian looked ghastly sad.

They were in this little room, and by little, Arthur thought "crammed" would be an understatement.

He and Merlin were sitting on a rundown leather sofa, with Lance on a beanbag doing his homework. The room's colour scheme was between ochre, brown, cream and lime green.

Merlin started setting everything up, and passed the microphone to Arthur, smiling like a loon.

Arthur looked at it with scepticism, 'Tell me again why we're doing karaoke instead of baseball?' His deep voice gravelling against the walls.

There was a table in the centre of the room, and Merlin grabbed the book on it, and plopped it into Arthur's lap, the boy giving a groan at the abrupt exterior weight in certain sensitive areas. In amongst Arthur's whines of his precious, gorgeous colossal cock being wrongly abused, his massive, juicy balls also taking part in his loud lamentations, covering said part of his body in sympathy to it, Merlin swiped the microphone, 'We can play baseball _after _karaoke!'

'But then we won't have enough time!' Arthur said, voice strained as he continued to writhe in pain on the sofa, really milking it now, Merlin thought: the book of songs wasn't that heavy.

Lance looked back down to his homework.

Arthur was now getting really into his song, Merlin humming along, Lance breathing out chuckles now and again when Arthur tried to do something truly ridiculous with his voice to show off to Merlin and to distract Lance from being such a nerd.

Someone knocked on their rented door, 'You've got five minutes left,' a dragged out, clearly bored young girl said monotonously.

'Right, we'll pack up, thank you,' Lance called out politely.

Merlin then looked to him crestfallen, 'Already?'

'Tell me again why we're doing karaoke instead of baseball?'

Merlin then came rolling into the room, blasting open the door, and crashing into the opposite wall.

Arthur was a wee bit speechless, and Merlin started untangling himself from himself, 'What the hell are you doing?' He asked, eyebrow crooked up.

'Nothing!' Merlin gasped out innocently and started walking round the table to seat his arse next to Arthur, 'Nothing? How does someone fall like that? And weren't you just sitting here a second ago?'

'DROP it!' Merlin shouted into the microphone which he cunningly seized while Arthur was looking cutely dazed.

He paused in his actions...

Did he just seriously think Arthur as "_cute"_?

He was probably warm because it was such a lovely, sunny day.

'Let's get singing!' He cried out, thanking the dimming lights that would hide his blush.

Later on, there was a knock on the door, 'You're got five minutes left,' Lance was then going to say something, but Merlin yelled out in some form of polite way, 'Thanks! We'll be right out.'

Arthur's face when he saw Merlin rolling into the room was priceless, mouth agape this time, Merlin noted.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?'

'I fell.'

'Fell? How could you fall like that? And weren't you just next to me a second ago?'

'I'm not done singing yet! I've got the music in me!' Merlin sung out into the microphone, Lance laughing his head off at Arthur's reaction to the sudden intensity in noise right next to his ear.

'I'm home,' Merlin winced, as he shut the front door, his satchel uncharacteristically heavy to his senses, and his voice box feeling like it would just fall out like a dead something it was so sore.

'What's wrong with your voice?' Hunith commented sweetly concerned, as she was laying the table in the kitchen. Merlin sat down, pulled his bag off and dropped it next to his chosen seat, 'We were singing.'

'Who?'

'Me and Arthur,' Merlin felt his head drop from the buzz in his eyes, and rested it against the table.

'Was Lance there?' Hunith's voice inflicted upwards.

Merlin closed his eyes, thinking if this is what a hangover was like, he was banning drink from his body for life, 'Yeah, but he was homeworking.'

'You must have been singing for hours,' she said, turning back to her onions and preparing the sauce.

'Certainly feels like it.'

They were playing baseball today, and it was another glorious day, but Merlin had something in mind to make it even sweeter.

Arthur was swinging the bat, beautifully, someone might add, but for every shoot, Merlin would come rolling out of nowhere, spring up and catch it: effectively, making Arthur out... every time. And no matter how hard or how soft Arthur hit the ball, Merlin always caught it with uncanny precision.

Around the fifteenth shot, Arthur was starting to get absolutely furious, 'How come you're only catching mine?!' and he punctuated every other word with a slam of the bat to the ground, little tufts of dirt and dust whirling up from the action. Arthur continued to swing the bat like a sword, as if he could cut Merlin down, while Lance just calmly said with slight awe, 'I'm amazed he can catch anything like that.'

'It's because I can predict what you're going to do, you are quite predictable you know! I'll beat you every time.' Merlin shouted mockingly, preceded by Arthur lobbing the bat at him and following its line of action to try and tackle Merlin to the ground, which he did, after a little chase, and pinned Merlin to the ground, dried grass in both their hair.

Merlin was splattering bits of dirt, while Arthur smirked in the re-establishment of his obvious superior strength and power.

Both were panting from the extreme heat, still tumbling a bit, so Lancelot decided to go grab a drink from his bag.

**X**

'MMmmmm look at these pastries, you've gone all out,' Nimueh said, in her serene voice with perfect diction as she opened a neatly wrapped white parcel Merlin had given her. They were back in her office, in the same positions as they were after Merlin's avoided accident.

'Forget about it! It's just my way of saying thanks for all the advice,' Merlin beamed, then sipped some of his green tea, his features showing the world a person filled with delight.

'I can go back and forth any time I like,' Merlin started, while Nimueh started on a slice of lemon vanilla cheesecake, 'I can have a lie in anytime I want, just leap around and there I am again, in bed, nice and cosy; if I forget something, I don't have to panic anymore; there's no limit on what I can have for dinner, all I need to do is leap to the evening I want, and if I miss something I wanted to watch on TV, no iPlayers or recordings for me, I can just hop to when it was on,' all of this was sped through with building hilarity and merriment at the sheer concept.

By this point, Nimueh was licking her fingers, 'I'm glad to hear you're not using it for anything significant.'

Her voice was placid but the subtle sarcasm surprisingly stung.

She wasn't looking at Merlin, which made it worse somehow.

'Come on, this changes everything!' Merlin protested, not about to have his moments of glory stolen by moral responsibility nonsense.

'The freedoms of leaping back in time are amazing! So many things are possible for me now that my stomachs killing me by the end of the day,'

'Do you ever wonder if someone's suffering from your good fortune?'

Merlin's spirits fell again, his good humour dying down like embers.

'Huh?' He uttered, a cross between not knowing what to say and wanting a bit more ground to fight on.

Nimueh only gazed at him, now using a spoon to tackle the cheesecake, mixing it with some chocolate sauce which smelled like hazelnuts.

The moments came by Merlin, his face falling somewhat with Nimueh's implications and her apparent trust in them.

'You think so?' Merlin asked, his voice sounding a lot more worried than he thought he was.

'Who knows?' And she dove into a muffin.

Merlin was left there, feeling quite cold despite the summer's sun, and feeling the drain of what he thought to be a magical high.

He felt quite angry.

'Nobody's suffering! And if they were, then I can leap back in time and make it all sunshine and rainbows again can't I? As many times as I want or need to!'

Nimueh only continued to swallow around her gifts, 'It may not be that easy.'

**X**

It was lunchtime, and Merlin was hanging out with Morgana in the open side of the canteen that was available for eating in the summer; it overlooked the grounds of the school, a mixture of cement, concrete, grass and trees encircling their view.

Merlin was still down from the talk with Nimueh, besides the fact Arthur had bloody football practise again and Lance was off doing something for his volunteer work.

His head was resting on his folded arms, not really looking at anything, just thinking, or being thoughtless, he wasn't too sure.

Morgana was looking at him intently, a vague but precise anxiousness in her pupil.

'Merlin,' she opened, her voice a wee bit higher, gentler than usual, as she gazed at the boy opposite her, 'do you think we could talk about what I wanted to talk to you about now?' her features expressed the knowledge that she knew she was potentially on lands of broken glass right now, if the further discourse went the path she had in her mind.

Merlin face didn't lift, only looking slightly to her left, facial features dipping at the sides in his misery.

She took his silence as a yes, because he hadn't verbally said anything neither physically objected.

So she took a breath, decided to be strong and will this through, 'How do you feel about Arthur?'

That certainly picked up his attention!

His eyes snapped to her image, Morgana all apprehensive like, but not worried, and it took Merlin a moment or two to completely comprehend that he just had heard what she said properly, and hadn't imagined it.

Be still his beating heart!

'What do you mean by _that?' _he babbled firmly, lips tangled, cheekbones high and face generally incredulous.

She stuttered visibly in thought, smiling slightly at her mistake, and reorganising her tactics or how she presented them.

Merlin was very swiftly tense, and didn't feel all too comfortable by the way his armpits abruptly flushed and the hairs on his neck unfixed themselves in warning. He managed to still look disbelieving though, which he was gratified for.

'What do you think of him?' was Morgana's refined response.

Merlin, automatically filled with images of Arthur and times with him, was lost for a second, or for maybe a bit longer, he supposed, by the way Morgana moved her head and pointed her eyes, innocently, not menacingly, as if this whole thing was helping Merlin somehow.

He didn't like that thought, but was too far gone to properly analyse why, because he was already drowning in Arthur. Blonde hair he felt on his skin, blue eyes all he could see, and a carelessly carefree desolation of being conquered in his senses in imagery of Arthur as water would his lungs.

Morgana looked on, her eyes studying, calculating.

Merlin felt compelled to answer the question, it was innocent enough, and he thought there was no danger, 'He's so happy, all the time,'

'So happy,' Morgana agreed, smiling as if to boost Merlin's expansion on such words,

Merlin was now gazing between his mind's eye and looking at Morgana, but wasn't really aware of what this all meant for her, 'I've never seen the guy frown, not once,'

'I've seen him frown,' Morgana spoke, as if that had a significant weight of some sort.

Merlin didn't understand why she was being like this. Well, of course he had an _idea_, but he didn't want to entertain it.

'Well, I've seen him frown of course, like when he misses out on some day's special dessert, or he forgets his books and the teachers go for him, or when I'm better at baseball than him, or when I'm picking him up on his manners, or when-'

'Not like that Merlin,' she swiftly cut in, Merlin paused, pouted at her unknowingly, 'that's so obviously in jest, Merlin, seriously. You know the way he pouts,' Merlin stopped, 'but he's always smiling with you, isn't he?'

Somehow, Merlin felt like that wasn't a question.

'Well, yeah I suppose but-' and words just didn't come.

Morgana catalogued this response, and asked another question, 'What else?'

Merlin was now solidly uncomfortable, but he was tangled in this web, this morbid game of Morgana's bitchy curiousity, and he'd have to battle out of it, or just grit his teeth and bear the consequences of his stupidity and how easily Arthur distracts him, 'How do you think he looks, for example?' She pushed when Merlin wasn't giving.

'He's... good-looking I guess,' Merlin started warily, his voice portraying that this was ridiculous, that his opinions didn't mean anything, 'He's fit for his age and all yeah, but you'd have to be an idiot, blind and or dead from the waist down to not realise that one,'

'So, you're attracted to him?' Morgana pressed, and Merlin had the sensation as if she was twisting his arm, 'I didn't say that!' he shouted, then in normal, forced tone, 'I'm allowed to appreciate him without,' and Merlin blushed, and hated the reason why, so confused now and unaware of where he was, ' without thinking like _that.'_

She accepted this, or at least seemed to, and waited for Merlin to continue, but Merlin didn't know what with.

'He's talented too; great at what he does, better than most,' Avoiding this now would mean deep insinuations, more so than if he bent the truth a little.

Morgana wasn't talking, and Merlin felt more awkward, 'Why?' and Morgana's face renewed wonderment, 'You interested in him or something?'

But Merlin's efforts for joking or spinning the conversation were ignored, deflected with another question, 'Do you think him good?'

Merlin was profoundly struck dumb by how _any_ answer to that would prove _anything._

'I guess... why?' and Merlin really hoped he didn't seem nervous, or by some witchcraft, she could sense the butterfly prison break in his torso.

'Can one not desire too much of a good thing?'

Merlin was silent.

She seemed to have all the answers she needed, 'Why all the questions?' and Merlin was afraid.

'Just to... gather information for a little theory of mine.'

They were both quiet for a bit, Merlin caving in on himself, not entirely sure what really just happened there, and when he thought the conversation was over, Morgana stacked a knife through his heart,

'Would you go out with him, Merlin?'

'_What?!' _and Merlin's mind panicked in its disarray.

**X**

Merlin and Arthur were laying side by side, well, Merlin was leaning his head on Arthur's left shoulder, thus, parts of their sides were inevitably overlapping, as they laid sprawled out on the courtyard's tree, waiting for Lance to finish up when Morgana and Morgause pulled him over to talk to some girl called, "Gwen" for something.

It was the end of their day, so after Lance had done whatever business he was needed for, they'd head off to the court for baseball as usual.

Merlin, after Morgana's question, which completely threw him off guard, more so by the way she looked pained in some way for him; he'd just quickly replied that what she was thinking was absurd, and if she had any common decency, to stop her scheming.

So here he and Arthur were, with the blonde letting his head fall back against the bark as Merlin scrolled through Avril Lavigne, Taylor Swift and Train on his MP3 Player, one headphone in the other's respective ear for their positioning.

Arthur was surprisingly comfortable; Merlin supposed that was from all the muscle.

Merlin's eyes started wandering, a bit bored, to be honest, or just tiredly lazy from the heat. His eyes then naturally found Arthur's dozing face, head resting against the chestnut's trunk, so his head was titled up slightly, but this made the light do funny thing's to his face, eyes closed.

Merlin's eyes didn't want to move, finding Arthur's features interesting and in need of study.

Of course, Merlin's done this lots of times, spaced out between each session, taking breaks now and then, and then resuming his valued work of getting to know Arthur's visual essay. Merlin thought at first sight, Arthur might (kinda does) resemble in structure, style and spirit, a Byronic lover from an Austen or Brontë novel and their respective poetry, or one of those legendary heroes from a Greek epic or something of the kind.

Merlin smiled softly.

Arthur was too English for that though.

So, yes, Arthur was a bit a sort of perfect, Merlin admitted.

But Merlin knew of flaws that Arthur possessed that no one else knew of: like how Arthur was always so bloody happy! All the time! So happy all the time!

He thought about what he said to Morgana, and it was true: he never saw Arthur frown much with him; while others said Arthur could be a right miserable git sometimes.

Merlin couldn't understand that.

He always found an "Arthur" smile his way.

Another fault of his was how he was always so positive and a "good sport". Like when he was in a football or tennis match and was losing, Arthur always still gave it his all, never giving in to bad thoughts and evil temptations of violent mentality. Sometimes he'd pull through and win, others he'd still lose, but he wasn't sore or sour about it. Merlin, on the other hand, was always wildly disappointed for Arthur, and sharpened his verbal flying daggers should Arthur require his services.

Arthur also loved his food, but it didn't make him fat, it just made him even more bulky, if possible, and Merlin was loathe to admit he was ever so slightly jealous.

And Arthur _was_ good-looking he supposed.

He noticed now, on a particular breath Arthur took, that he hadn't shaved. The hairs on his chin, around his mouth, up the sides of his face like sideburns and a bit down his neck, seemed like fields of mini sharp gemstone spikes, the type that you could see if the light was right.

Arthur had a strong nose, certain, Merlin thought.

And although Arthur's eyes were closed, Merlin knew them well, knew their shapes and colours; he likened them to the ocean, and the sky: a running river of watery blues, reflecting such bright emotion.

His lips were definitely Shakespeare's "blushing pilgrims", accompanied by crooked teeth.

Probably from smiling so damn much...

And it was now that Merlin felt yet another pooling and gathering of liquid warmth within him.

He was very fond of Arthur, indeed, he liked him very much, and if someone else were to mark Arthur in parcels as he did, he was sure most would come under his charm and be forced to fall in love with Arthur.

But Merlin was no such person.

He knew Arthur too well.

But still, he wondered how much of the day he spent just calling after this boy.

But still, that didn't stop the intensifying glow in him as Arthur leaned a bit closer, shuffling probably to get more comfortable, but Merlin realised the movement, and allowed, just for one moment, to give in a little bit, and just enjoy being with Arthur, enjoy the blaze.

Merlin wasn't in love with Arthur, they were best friends, and were soulmates, maybe, but Merlin refused to say that he was _in love._

It was bloody ludicrous!

Merlin realised then he was still smiling, and then Arthur opened his left eye to peep at Merlin, probably sensing a pressing force around his face. The blonde smiled back, then said in that throaty, deep voice of his, 'What's the look for?'

'Nothing,' Merlin quickly slowly said.

Arthur breathed out a chuckle, closed his eye and went back to dozing, adjusting so Merlin was more overlapped on him, 'You are a funny bean, Merlin.'

They stayed like that for a time, until, it appears, Arthur got too hot, or realised something of the like, because he signalled for Merlin to get up when Merlin's elbow brushed his lower abdomen, which he did, putting away Arthur's MP3 while the other stood up, collecting their things and said, 'Let's go on without him, he'll know where we are.'

Arthur seemed flushed somehow, loosely tight, but he smiled warmly at Merlin, and slung his arm around the other's neck as they walked around and out the school to the court.

He never let go, and Merlin didn't make him.

**X**

'Jeez lose the girly throw! Use your shoulder this time,' Arthur called out to Merlin as he was, apparently, getting a soft backhanded lesson in throwing properly.

Merlin could kill that bastard.

He chucked the ball this time, and it worked better.

Damn Arthur for being right! And damn his smiles and his smug airs and his-

By this point Lance come round the corner and opened the green gate, mostly brown with rust and dirt around the edges, the metal's movements creaking and crying; Lance himself didn't look too good either: his head was downcast and his hands were in his pockets.

He then just looked up, paused, 'I made it.'

Merlin wondered what on Earth the matter could be.

'Took you long enough!' Arthur shouted.

'Sorry,' he seemed distracted, as he picked up the bat to swing.

He needed cheering up.

Plus, Merlin was curious, anything involving Morgana and Morgause was bound to be two parts hilarious if not one part destructive.

'Soooooo?' He started.

'What? That girl you mean?' Lance spoke; his voice was normal, maybe a bit higher, but his face certainly was unfocused, 'She's just a Year 11,' why that was relevant Merlin didn't know, but he was more concerned with the way Arthur also seemed troubled for Lance, which meant that this was serious.

Throughout all of that, Lance was just beating the bat against the ground, maybe for prep, Merlin thought, but he seemed to be getting rid of some tension as well: the action was too forceful, showing it to be a passion of earnest.

Merlin threw the ball regardless: maybe getting into a familiar routine would loosen Lancelot up.

He hit it, aiming high, while saying on the collide, 'She asked me to go out with her.'

'Way to go!'

'Are you serious!?' Arthur found his voice then, as if he was genuinely confused _that _was the reason for Lance's earlier little mood, while running for the ball. It was comical to Merlin, honestly, watching him like a little action figure in the distance. He turned back to Lance, 'So, what did you say?' He hoped he was giving friendly support.

'Turned her down.'

'What?!'

'Take it easy, Merlin!'

'That took guts to ask you out, and weren't you ogling her just the other day?'

'Yeah, Lance, just go for it you know? What do you have to lose exactly? If it doesn't work just be friends or something,' Arthur identified while running back and throwing to Merlin.

'Will you two just _SHUT UP?!' _and on Merlin's next throw to Lance, the ball hit the side of the court, the mesh, diamond wiring rattling on the contact.

**X**

Walking home from the court, a bit further down a couple of lanes and a few turns here and there, you come to a junction of footpaths that run round the back of people's houses. The sun was low, so it made everything take on shades of orange in respective intensity.

This is where Merlin, Arthur and Lance were, but Lance had to take a different path to the others, so this is where they usually said goodbye.

Arthur was on his bike, while Merlin and Lance were on foot. Merlin too would usually be on his bike, but, since he had gained a new ability as of late, a bike was kind of unnecessary for him now.

'Don't come crying to me when you regret losing that girl.' Arthur woefully said.

'Can we just drop it now?' Lance spoke a little tensely.

He started to walk off, silent.

'See ya!' Merlin waved.

'Later,' and Lancelot then threw a backhanded wave over his shoulder.

They watched him go, his sluggish movements out of character.

Arthur then looked at Merlin, a little puzzled for a moment, the sentiment on his face, 'Hey, where's your bike?'

Merlin's attention was now all Arthur's, Lance and his misfortune far away, 'Something happened to it.'

'Well get on, I'll double ya,' Arthur exclaimed, leaning his bike so Merlin could hop on behind him.

Merlin's face light up at that point, 'You'll take me home?' and he was already climbing aboard, swinging his legs in the needed fashion and rearranging his satchel and Arthur's duffel bag for ease and comfort, 'Sweet!'

They were riding along that path at the top of the slope near Avalon River, passing the odd dog walker, Merlin looking sideways to the sunset: the peaches, the yellows, the crimsons and their effect on the silver water, when Merlin voiced his thoughts, 'Do you honestly believe Lance wasn't interested?'

'Probably, the guy usually means what he says,'

Merlin hummed, and there was silence for a bit longer, the only sound the gentle rattle and clicks of the bike.

'I'm kind of glad actually,'

Arthur turned his head a bit then, jumped a little bit, 'Why's that?' and the "why" staggered a bit.

Merlin didn't notice, or wasn't concentrating really, only thinking about the images in his head, 'If he gets a girlfriend then he'll treat her special.'

'Yeah, that be him alright,' Arthur was now half gazing at Merlin, half looking out in front.

'Then we couldn't hang out anymore,' Merlin smiled and looked at Arthur, who looked back at the road, 'Yeah I guess, and no more playing catch, what a nightmare for your daily schedule.'

'I don't know,' Merlin sighed, leaning back to look at the fading pale blue sky and the pale pink clouds, his hair waving in the wind, 'I just always assumed us three would always be together, you know? Lancelot would tell us off for being late, and you'd ride me for not being able to catch the ball, but I guess we'll grow up soon. Or have already, but it hasn't been fully realised.'

Then descended a sorrowful air in Merlin, and he didn't really know what to do with himself. He didn't know what to think, and didn't know how to know. He didn't know how to know the unknown.

A natural silence fell also, but there seemed to be a bubbling energy in Arthur now, the way his shoulders tensed just a fraction. He kept glancing back with his eyes slightly now and again, and on the fifth time is when he started talking, quietly, a bit nervously, as if he was out of breathe almost, 'Merlin?'

'Hmm?'

'What do you say...' There was now a beading of sweat on his temple, Arthur then scratched the back of his head with his left hand, then putting it back down, blasted slowly and quietly out, 'You wanna go out?'

Merlin froze.

His body snapped into a still position, sweat breaking out in several pores very suddenly, and his heart was conflicted if it should stop or rasp rapidly.

His eyes shot out wide, and then he slowly pulled himself back up, staring at Arthur's back, the rattle and clicks of the bike an eerie music.

Merlin was rarely speechless and thoughtless at the same time.

'Stop,' Merlin didn't know why he said it, but he bit it out anyway, 'Stop for a second,' he needed to think, he supposed.

Arthur pulled the brakes, the tyres obeying him in the halting.

'What was that?' Merlin stuttered out, and felt his entire body vibrating with a cold, icy energy.

'Err...'

'Why would you say that?' Merlin's voice rumbled out, a bit wet too.

Arthur wanted to go out with him?

Did that mean that Arthur... liked him? Like that?

Did that mean that Arthur... loved him?

That burst through his brain.

Why would Arthur want to go out with him? What the hell was Arthur doing? Did he sincerely enjoy ruining Merlin's life? What the fuck was he thinking?

Merlin and Arthur had a good thing going on, why would he spoil everything by making them an item, making them serious, making them a couple?

Merlin started shaking, a stinging salty moistness breaking on his eyes' surface.

So many things raced through his mind in those short moments.

Merlin imagined a life with Arthur like that: holding hands, kissing, spending more time together, sharing intimate moments with each other, saying tender things, more eating out together, more sleepovers (they were guys right? His mum wouldn't get suspicious), more holding hands, more kissing, going to every one of his matches and kissing him at the end, buying each other special gifts, anniversaries, bonding, sharing their souls, sharing life together, smiling softly, knowing each other more than they did now, more hugging, cuddling on the sofa, watching movies together, eating ice-cream together, dates, coffee, bedroom activity...

He didn't even know Arthur's parents! He didn't know if Arthur had any parents at all! What if they were horribly conservative and disowned Arthur or something? Would Merlin have to let him stay with them? Would Hunith be okay with that?

Had Arthur even told anyone that he was gay? He certainly hadn't told Merlin! And being his best friend, this implied that Arthur hadn't!

So, assuming Arthur did have living parents, did they know? If they did, did they hate Arthur for it a little bit, being so conservative? Would they mind Arthur bringing Merlin home some nights? Would they judge Merlin as turning their son into a shit-hole fucking monster? Would they make Merlin's life hell? Would they try to split them up?

Or if they were really liberal and knew about Arthur's dark desires: would they accept Merlin? Or would they think he was unworthy, undeserving of Arthur's affections?

What would his own mother say?!

Would Hunith be alright with this? Would she cry over the fact she wouldn't get any grandchildren from Merlin?

Okay, let's say that parents are alright with it: what would people at school say?

What would Lance say? Would Lance be awkward with it: hanging out with a gay couple who were previously apparently two straight blokes?

What would Morgana do? Had she suspected something? Is that why she wanted to talk about it with him? Had Arthur told her? Or had she worked it out herself? If she could do it, then how many others knew?

Would Merlin be the object of abuse from the school's bullies again? He'd got out of the teasing when he moved to secondary school; would they pick on him now, if they found out? Would they pick on Arthur?

Merlin was then flooded with images of a beaten up Arthur: scars and blood all over his face.

Merlin was unconscious to the fact his cheeks were a bit wet now.

Would they have to hide their relationship? If people didn't like them, would he and Arthur have to pretend they weren't together? Would it be public? Did Arthur want them to be affectionate publicly? Or did Arthur want a sort of secret affair with Merlin?

Was Merlin going to be Arthur's dirty little secret? His bit on the side? Or if Merlin said yes, would Arthur want them to be out and proud and throwing up rainbows?

What if life split them up and Merlin couldn't cope? What if Arthur couldn't cope?

Would Merlin have to get used to glares? Would Merlin have to get used to vultures and thieves at their backs, and protect Arthur from them? What if they couldn't cope with that?

More thoughts came rushing in.

Okay, fine, let's say they were happy for a time, and the world didn't mind their being together, but what if Arthur got bored of Merlin?

What if Arthur wanted this to be a sort of experiment between them?

What if Merlin wanted them to be together when Arthur wanted to break it up?

Would he lose Arthur's friendship too?

Merlin imagined a life without Arthur, and found it life_less._

Did this answer the fact why he couldn't breathe whenever he thought about Arthur?

Why he couldn't speak when he talked about Arthur?

All these thoughts and the similar came in full force against Merlin, and he was overwhelmed by their speed, their power, their sheer might and will, their persistence for answers, and Merlin, in those brief moments, was not only stunned by the velocity of such floods, but was submerged and drowned in the waters.

What the fuck was Arthur thinking?

'Well, I...' Arthur's husky voice caressed Merlin's ears, and he shuddered at the way the floods pooled into his warm glow, the one he feels when with Arthur, that affectionate tenderness in liquid form: they made that pool poison.

Merlin's mind screamed at the horror of the floods drowning the butterflies, the innocent creatures inside him gasping for air, fluttering in frenzy, and he was helpless and hopeless to stop the murder.

'Where's this coming from all of a sudden?!' Merlin didn't give a thought to whether his voice sounded weak and damp.

'You were wondering what it would be like if Lance got a girlfriend,' and Merlin sank.

'I mean...' and Arthur seemed so nervous, so unlike Arthur should be, and Merlin was a little petrified that he had this affect on his friend, 'I mean... I'm not ugly, am I?' Merlin was completely shell-shocked that Arthur genuinely had that insecurity.

'And well,' Arthur's voice was husky still, and he seemed to be struggling between piercing the footpath and holding Merlin's stare, knowing he should be doing the latter, so he could communicate emotion through his pupil as well as his tone, 'Well, I've been feeling like this for a long time now, Merlin, and,' Merlin's heart clenched from ghostly freezing fingers, 'and I thought that we could try this, you know?' Arthur was now looking right into Merlin's soul.

'Are you serious?'

'Dead.'

Merlin couldn't say anything, because he didn't know what to say.

And when he was silent for about a minute more, Arthur lost his nerve and started peddling again.

'Hey, hang on!' Merlin cried, not wanting Arthur to feel like a fool, he didn't want that at all, 'Wait a minute will ya!'

Arthur stopped again, and seemed so very tense, apprehensive, fearful.

'What is it this time? Can we just go?' Arthur didn't sound cross or anything, but extremely wounded, maybe a little embarrassed.

Was Arthur angry with him now? Had Merlin ruined everything now? Had Merlin fucked up everything? What if Arthur never spoke to him again?

Arthur turned around, but Merlin wasn't there.

Then he realised that Merlin never actually answered his question...

**X**

Merlin hit the lamp-post, and if he wasn't already worried about his skull's injuries and mental health, he definitely was now.

But he wasn't given the chance to worry in fact, because the ding of him hitting the lamp sparked Arthur and Lance into a jump.

They looked down; both nonplussed about how the hell Merlin got there.

Merlin looked up at them, then at Arthur, Arthur, his best friend, who just said that he wanted to go out with him.

What the hell was Merlin supposed to do?

First things first, he was to stop letting his eyes feast on the way Arthur's red t-shirt had a very low neck, revealing very tempting flesh as well as built collarbone areas.

'_Snap out of it Merlin!'_

'What the fuck you doing down there?' Arthur asked eventually.

Merlin shot right up, their heads following.

'Nothing at all,' and Merlin backed it up by looking nice and sweet.

They let it slip, knowing Merlin was a magnet to the Earth and that gravity was especially intense on him; Merlin was grateful, but he looked at Arthur again, a bit more meaningfully then he anticipated.

But Arthur wasn't looking at him, 'Don't come crying to me when you change your mind about dating that girl.'

'Can we please just drop it now?'

'See ya.'

'Later.'

It was just Merlin and Arthur again, like it had been, and Merlin was much more nervous than he would be in Arthur's presence, and couldn't catch the reason why: whether it was because of what just hadn't happened, or because Merlin's butterflies were resurrected, this time more powerful with extra flight energy.

'Hey, where's your bike? Get on I'll double ya,' Arthur said so very gentleman-like, obviously teasing the role, and leaned like he had before, offering Merlin a seat, about to take him on a ride that could change their relationship forever.

Is that why Arthur wanted to take Merlin home?

Was it because he was just genuinely being a nice friend, or did he have a plan?

Or was the proposal on the spot and a spontaneous sort of thing?

Maybe he'd meant to say something, but just couldn't find the right mood?

Honestly, Merlin thought bitterly, he hoped leaping back would give him more time, but he still felt that outer-body consuming sensation with being so unprepared.

But how could Merlin resist those silent, pleading eyes?

**X**

'I bet if Lance got a girlfriend then he'd always pick her over us,' Arthur said, riding the bike along the path atop the slope that overlooked Avalon River, as if to rile Merlin somehow.

'We can't be sure about that,' Merlin hastened to comfort, wondering if their roles somehow reversing then meant Arthur wouldn't push him off a cliff with time: telling him to let go with his eyes closed.

'Damn it! Without Lance we'd only get to toss the ball around!' Merlin didn't really know if Arthur was sincerely angry, but he got the notion this was building up to something.

He didn't want that something to happen: not here, not again: he wasn't ready!

'Why don't we give the guy some credit and start angsting if and when Lance does decide to hook up with someone, he's still single now remember?'

'You're right, it's not like we can do much if it happens,' Arthur submitted, and Merlin felt chills in his lower back by the way Arthur actually admitted Merlin was right for once.

He's never done that!

Shit! Is Arthur trying to sweeten him up?!

'Anyway,' No! Damn that innocent, hopeful tone! 'How about we go out?'

'_Seriously Arthur?! A second time!'_

**X**

'That's what he says now, but I bet if he got a girlfriend, he'd always pick her over us,'

Okay, so yeah, Merlin took the offer of the bike ride again, but he wasn't going to blame himself for this, because sharing Arthur's bike was really nice, Arthur's body was a warm, solid, soft support; all Merlin had to do was distract him from saying anything.

'Hey, did I ever tell you what an idiot my little sister is?' he quivered in his delivery.

Arthur turned his head slightly, 'Err, I was talking about Lance if you didn't notice? You know? And the fact that if he goes it will just be us two left?' Damn it! Arthur was one charming persistent idiot!

Arthur _wasn't _charming!

'Forget about that, we'll be fine, let's talk about my sister,' If only Merlin could get Arthur to think about Merlin's family issues, then maybe he'd stop thinking about Lance getting a girlfriend, leaving them, meaning that on some weird and wonderful basis which kind of made emotional sense, they should tie the knot.

'So, anyway, if Lance finds a girlfriend-'

'Let me tell you about my sister!' Merlin yelled.

'Do you want to go out with me!?' Arthur yelled back, halting the bike suddenly, his voice echoing, carrying his desperate diction into the distance.

**X**

'Don't come crying to me when you change your mind about dating that girl,'

'Can we please just drop it now?'

'Hey! Merlin!'

Damn it, Merlin thought, trudging his legs along the opposite path (all the paths at the junction could lead to Merlin's house, but the one that took the route with Avalon River was the quickest). Arthur obviously _did_ realise that Merlin was already walking in the opposite direction, and, because Arthur was really sweet despite his trying to act like an utter prat most of the time, he'd only want to ask Merlin out when they were alone and for the moment to be as special as possible.

Merlin wasn't about to cry, he wasn't, he just didn't know what to do when a deep friend, someone who he cared about immensely, was killing him softly without knowing it.

'I'll take you home Merlin! And if you're not studying or whatever we could-'

'No thanks,' Merlin loudly whispered out, leaving their confused faces behind.

'Hey! What's the matter?!' and Arthur sounded so beautifully concerned and worried, but joyful as well in hopes that maybe his happy demeanour would spark similar sentiments in Merlin's person.

But Merlin didn't reply.

He then distantly heard a struggle and ripping clothes after the metal clapping of a falling bike, 'It's all your fault!'

'I didn't do anything!'

'You were a moping shit head!'

Arthur was shouting at Lance.

Did Lance know about how Arthur felt?

Is it possible that everyone else saw it before Merlin?

Well, that's just great, thanks Arthur, for ruining a perfectly good bike ride home by getting too attached when it could all go to shit, for ruining a perfectly good bike ride home where they could have shared intimate laughs and smiles instead of... whatever this was.

Did this make Merlin a coward?

He hoped not, as his weathered world turned gloomy.

**X**

They were in a different room now, because Merlin caught Nimueh at a time where she actually had to work.

In this much bigger room, there were several tables, all slashed with paper and paints: acrylic, oil, watercolours, the whole works. Brushes of different shapes and sizes here and there: some in pots, some on the tables loosely wrapped in cling film. Rulers scattered into the place where they would hopefully be needed most, accompanied by their good friend and rival, the tape measure. Again, books were everywhere as well, some filled with colour scheme ideas, and others were again reference books and some on the history of the world and its various cultures arts and crafts.

It was a bombshell of creativity basically.

Nimueh was on the far table, measuring up a new piece, looking keenly calmly at it. Behind her was the sink, a large rectangular monster for the big awkward things.

Merlin was on the nearest table opposite her, sitting on a patch he had cleared for comfortable seating.

He pined in thought.

'I thought you liked Arthur,' she was giving her worldly advice, 'and didn't you feel obligated to stay with him to keep him in line?'

Yeah, Merlin did, but everything changed now.

'I might have said something like that before,' Merlin mumbled out, thinking.

'What's the point of pretending like he never asked then? You always talk about him,' she smiled up at him then, 'he's like your default topic of choice,' Merlin would usually be irate by that implication, but he couldn't ignore the weight of it now.

She hummed laughed at Merlin's silence, 'Why don't you go out with him then?'

How the hell was his aunt so... tranquil, about everything? It took him guts to tell her about what happened, because he had to talk to someone, and she was the only one who would understand the leaping.

He'd just got over the whole, "It's okay to be gay" speech she initially started with, and he was tempted just to leap to avoid that again.

But he was thrown by this question. DIDN'T HE JUST TELL HER WHY IT WAS A BAD IDEA?!

Oh... that's right, he kept that part out, the part that involved his own feelings.

'I can't.'

'How come?'

Merlin was flustered, 'Because what if something happens?'

'If _something _does happen, then you can always go back to being friends, you're mature enough to handle that, right?'

'No, not happening!'

'Sometimes these things start off one-sided then the person grows on you,'

'It's not one-sided!' Merlin shouted; his throat filled with the strain to produce such volume.

Shit!

Silence.

She looked at him knowingly, but said nothing, 'I see,' well, almost nothing, then more, 'So, you're just going to act like nothing happened?'

Merlin's eyes were full, his lips pouting and trembling.

'I feel sorry for Arthur, after he worked up the courage,'

'What?' and now Merlin suddenly felt every awful, and a bit disgusted with himself.

'Well, then again, I suppose he doesn't even know that he did, so there's no problem.'

She went back to her measuring.

Merlin just picked up his bag and stormed out.

Damn her subtle manipulation!

And it was horrible, because it wasn't even like Merlin could say sorry now.

**X**

It was lunch, again.

Again, Arthur had a football meeting; Lance was being nice somewhere, Morgana and Morgause were helpfully scheming; which left Merlin with Mithian.

It wasn't that he didn't like her, he just wanted to be alone for a bit, but he couldn't leave the girl alone because then she'd fall into the category of the "my friends hate me" girl.

They were on the small hill which overlooked the school's PE courts, under a tree in the shade.

Merlin was looking out distantly, caught in a strange spiritual experience about not really being in the present, as if he was some entity which was just passing through almost, while Mithian sat next to him, legs crossed as so to protect her modesty from the skirt, sucking on an orange carton.

Merlin's eyes felt numb.

'Hey, Merlin,' Mithian started, sweetly sounding, 'You know how Arthur transferred to our school last year? I heard he'd been bouncing around from school to school before that.'

Merlin heard her vaguely, at least enough to catch the main parts of the words she said and the implications and promptings for replies.

'Apparently,' the sky was clear today, a beautiful blue, but Merlin couldn't appreciate it.

'Do you think the rumours about him living overseas are true?' Mithian was glancing at the grass.

Merlin produced a massive veggie hamburger from his lap.

He wasn't comfort eating!

'I doubt it,' then bit off a huge chuck and chewed in meditation, between chomps he added, 'he sucks at languages.'

'No, huh?'

'No chance.'

'I wonder if something happened to him at his last school.'

Merlin wanted to think.

'Why don't you ask him?' he sighed.

'No, no I couldn't. I don't even have his email address, let alone his phone number.'

Why was that relevant? Merlin took another bite.

'So?' he said, only thinking afterwards that might have come out a bit exasperated, 'he's in our class.'

'Yeah, I know, but you're such good friends with him.'

Friends with Arthur? Was she really talking about this _now_?

The universe was cruel.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, 'I wouldn't ask him something like that.'

Mithian seemed to drop it then, but once they finished their mini makeshift picnic, they made their way back into the school.

The path they chose was one which had a courtyard in the centre, but not the main courtyard previously mentioned. This was on the West Wing of the school, and most of it was just stylised concrete: guys usually used it for basketball.

They were walking on the side so that the courtyard was to their right, pillars of grey separating the path from the open space.

Merlin, still deep in contemplation, thought about his and Arthur's relationship from a different perspective.

Sure, they hung out a lot, but they didn't really have heart-to-heart conversations. Merlin thought again about how he didn't even know if Arthur had any living parents: he didn't talk about them and no one asked.

Did this mean they weren't good friends? Good friends talked about this type of thing right?

And besides, if Arthur _did _have a little drama in his old school, it probably wasn't worth mentioning since he never told anyone.

He didn't tell Merlin.

'I wouldn't say we're _that _close,' but as soon as he voiced the thought, he knew he was wrong: despite Arthur's past, Merlin knew everything about Arthur in the present: his hopes and dreams for the future, what he liked to eat, his favourite meals, his favourite colour, his favourite band, his favourite t-shirt even. Merlin knew about Arthur's points of view on politics, business, ethical issues, even spiritual stuff. But most of all, what Merlin knew distinguished himself from all of Arthur's other friends, was how Merlin knew about Arthur's insecurities: he knew about how Arthur thought he wasn't good enough, how Arthur always tried his best because he thought he had to be the best, he knew that Arthur wanted to shine so that no one else had to, not for selfish reasons, but so they could do what they wanted and not worry about anything else.

Merlin was also the only person Arthur let comfort him. On the very rare occasions he'd seen Arthur upset, Merlin could only name about four times at the most, it was always Merlin's advice and console which Arthur listened to; Merlin was the only person who could soothe Arthur.

Merlin was also the only person Arthur gave hugs to. Despite Arthur's friendly nature, he was the type of guy to prefer arm-punches and cheery words, he still did that with Merlin; however he also hugged Merlin, and let Merlin do the same to him.

During this reflection, Merlin again, felt an extreme attachment to Arthur, as if a binding of sharp warm thread was placed around Merlin's upper body, and now was tugging, and tugging very strongly, so the warmth was squeezed from his heart and chest, and proceeded to saturate his body with the sensation.

He even knew Arthur's smell.

'Liar, you two are always together,' Mithian exploded out with laughter, and Merlin actually jumped from the outburst.

'Am not!' he shot back, 'I mean-' Merlin would have gone on, whether it was to justify his words or appease Mithian he was unsure, but they were interrupted by a shout from their right, in the concrete courtyard.

Everyone turned to it, and saw Will being sprayed at with water from a hose.

The holders of said hose were Karan and Valiant, with Kay laughing in the background.

They were approaching him with the water blasting out at full force, pinning him up against a pillar due to his inability to see or speak clearly, throwing him into disorientation.

'Take this you miserable fuck!'

'You're a loser man!'

'Leave him alone!' Merlin shouted out, but his yells went unheard, because Will fell over himself and landed with his arse in the air, in quite a crude position, so Karan and Valiant laughed louder, aiming the water at his rear.

Kay sounded like he was dying.

But they all stopped, because the water decreased in intensity, then there was none.

'Who shut it off!'

Arthur did: he was standing by the tape, hands in his pockets, looking completely unaffected by their jeering as he would, but when he looked up they shut themselves up. Merlin could see everything from this angle, and Arthur looked so coldly pissed it could have melted their faces right off if he knew magic.

'You 'bout done?' He said, bored.

They knew, even three against one, Arthur would probably best them.

They walked off, dropping the hose violently as if that showed their inner turmoil for justice being so unrightfully taken was a mockery of God.

'It's not over Willy!' they joked as they left the square, shoving people who were stupid enough not to move.

Merlin was stunned: this is actually what he meant about Arthur's shining: his need to protect the weak and vulnerable.

Mithian rushed over to Will, who Arthur was standing over now, still looking cool and collected, 'That's pretty bad, you're soaked man,' he mocked kindly, offering his hand, which Will took with a meek smile.

'Are you alright, Will? Mithian cooed.

'Yeah,' he whined, sounding so very put upon, 'they threw coke on me yesterday. But I was lucky enough to chuck a latte back.'

Mithian turned her attention to Arthur, while she stroked Will's arm, 'You know you're making it worse doing that, right?'

Turns out, Arthur didn't hear her, because as soon as he caught sight of Merlin, he casually sped-walked to him, jumping a little bit, hands still in his pockets, 'Hey, Merlin!'

Merlin did _not _feel a slight glow at the way Arthur's face completely lit up and his eyes were suddenly very bright and his face animated.

Merlin then started to panic. He didn't know what to do about Arthur. He didn't know how to act, how to say anything, without seeming awkward or distant or just shit scared because he knew now.

He knew that Arthur liked him that way. It all made sense now, those beaming looks Arthur gave him all the time: they were because Merlin was just being Merlin, being there.

Merlin flustered, and turned the other way, not rudely, but as if there was something in his hair.

'You catch the match last night?' Arthur smirked at him, hovering around him.

'Err... no,'

Wherever Arthur moved, Merlin accidently fussed with his hair the other way.

Arthur stopped, 'Why'd you look away from me?'

'I didn't look away!' Merlin protested as he faced Arthur.

Big mistake...

Merlin couldn't breathe; his heart was thrashing around wildly in its fleshy cage.

Merlin made the error of looking at Arthur's eyes, which sent a pang of sensation right from his heart to his toes.

Arthur's smile too, was radiant.

Merlin blushed, and turned away again.

Arthur chuckled, 'What are you up to?'

'Nothing!'

'Come on, tell me,' Arthur pushed, nudging into Merlin, knocking him off balance, invading his space, stealing his air, 'is it something juicy? Come on tell me,' Arthur continued this little assault, now kneeing Merlin in the tummy gently, hands still in his pockets.

Merlin wondered why that was. But he wondered more why he couldn't speak with the ghost of Arthur's touch on him.

'It's nothing!' Merlin cried out, losing the battle, losing the will.

But Arthur didn't stop, well he did, but he kept on being kind, kept on being so Arthur. He looked suddenly so concerned, his brow frowning with the feeling, his eyes so wondrously earnest, and Merlin just needed some air, his lungs were so strained in his chest, 'What's the matter? Merlin, what's wrong?' and he got so close to Merlin, pinned him against the wall, and his face was so close, so very close, and Merlin thought he might faint, or do something extremely unbecoming and stupid as to make a public scandal of both of them. Arthur's body was so near Merlin's, he could feel Arthur's warm blood, his body emitting sweet sensations and warm wonders into Merlin's own. Merlin felt so taunt in all his muscles in Arthur's presence, but not in a tense, angry way; far from it, actually.

With his mouth agape, almost gasping for air slowly and silently, Merlin was powerless but to gaze back into those watery eyes, those wells which Merlin had fell into long ago.

'Emrys you jerk!'

Will was cradling his bag.

'This is your entire fault! You asked me to switch partners the other day! If you didn't, I wouldn't be wet like someone just came all over me right now!'

There was such venom in his being.

'I didn't think something like this would happen,' Merlin weakly defended himself.

'This is all your fault you idiot!'

'_Who _are you calling an idiot?!' Arthur shouted, furious now, raging in fact, slightly stepping in front of Merlin. By this point, Mithian had edged back to Merlin's side.

Arthur took off his shoe, and Merlin was so confused right now, things were happening too fast.

His mind was blurry as it was!

'Keep it up and I'll throw this you ungrateful shit! How dare you talk to someone like that!' Arthur was very nearly about to lob the trainer at the guy's face, but Merlin held his arm with a, 'What are you doing, Arthur? Calm down, I'm fine.'

'Yeah? I dare you!'

Next thing Merlin knew, there was a red flush covering Will's face, the size and shape of the bottom of Arthur's shoe.

'Oh... I didn't mean to do _that_,' Arthur said guiltily.

'Stupid!' Will cursed, and ran off like a scared game animal.

Arthur hopped over to the discarded shoe, 'That guy's pretty rude, going around calling everyone names,' the last bit was strained as he bent down to put his shoe back on. Merlin felt a spasm in his torso: Arthur's tone was defensive, but his complexion showed he was truly sorry for losing his temper.

'So?' Merlin said as he approached Arthur, 'You're always calling me an idiot,' he laughed out, genuinely amused by Arthur's behaviour.

'Yeah, but I say it out of love.'

And that's when Merlin stopped walking, stopped everything.

If he thought he was about to faint before, he was wrong.

If he thought his heart was breaking records with how many beats there were per second, he was wrong.

If he thought he was petrified before, he was wrong.

It seems there were many moments recently which were proving Merlin speechless and thoughtless.

Arthur shuddered out a laugh, 'Wh-Where's your comeback? You're leaving me in the cold here. He's acting strange today, don't you think Mithian.' He bravely pushed out.

Oh Arthur...

'Yes. Indeed.'

'Wh-Why the stiff talk?'

'I'm sorry, it's just that I've never spoken much to you before.'

What the fuck was Arthur doing to Merlin's head?!

He felt so powerless, so out of control around Arthur: his body shaking slightly yet numb to any commands.

'Merlin? What's wrong?' Arthur softly spoke, looking intently.

'I have to go! I forgot my pencil in History!' and, not because he was a coward, but because he just couldn't be around Arthur without feeling like he was being sucked in, ran off, well, at least made it look like an innocent jog of a forgetful person.

**X**

And that's how most of the next few days went.

Merlin wasn't proud of himself, his actions or his temperament, but he just couldn't handle being around Arthur right now, at least while his head was so full.

For example: Arthur in form, found a fantasy book Merlin hadn't read yet, and came up to him to present his find, but Merlin casually slipped away into the crowd, and went to the toilet.

Another time, was when Merlin saw Arthur walking down the East Wing's courtyard archway, similar layout to the Central one; so Merlin went the long way round.

Merlin was in Biology, the only subject he and Arthur didn't have together, but Arthur must of had a free period, because Merlin dashed behind a desk when he saw Arthur peeping through the window.

Merlin didn't want to do this to Arthur: make him believe or think that he was ignoring him, because hurting Arthur or causing him any misfortune of any kind _hurt _Merlin, but Arthur did things to Merlin's mind, and when Merlin was with Arthur, he was the other boy's puppet, completely malleable to his every whim, and right now, Merlin couldn't risk that bewitchment. Merlin needed a pause button on his life, so that he could just spend some time in quiet self-reflection, but it seemed to him that his life could only go in fast-forward or rewind, and even that was limited.

Arthur made Merlin feel out of his element, like he was walking on broken glass, like his world was spinning in slow motion, but Arthur was moving too fast.

'Merlin!' Arthur crashed through the green iron gate of the court, cycling haphazardly, braking while turning his bike.

Lance was stretching, 'He's not here,'

'But he _always _meets us here!' Arthur said, contained distraught.

'Somethin' happen?' Lance asked, as if he'd been through this a thousand times already, his eyes suggestive.

'Huh?' Arthur said, his eyes momentarily wide, 'No, no nothing at all,' and Arthur cycled to where he usually parked his bike, but instead of putting it down gently, just kind of jumped off it and let it slam, the metal clinging and ringing, reflecting the thoughts behind the crestfallen expression on his face.

'You must have said something that pissed him off,' Lance said, trying to help, but not really knowing how to this time, 'You betta not have said he has big ears, you know he's self-conscious!'

Arthur was looking completely lost into the distance, then shouted out to Lance, features wild, 'I _didn't _say anything!' and if it's true that when people are emotionally tense, they talk in their natural/first accent, then it applies to Arthur now, expect every word was punctuated with perfect diction.

Lance's face wasn't buying it.

'I didn't!' Arthur whined, his volume sinking. He then faced Lance completely, about ten metres separating them, while Arthur's eyes went blurry, 'at least... I don't think I did,' but Lance then threw the ball at him, knowing that a distracted Arthur was better than a wounded one.

'Toss it back!'

Arthur went to, but stopped, his duffel bag swinging with him, 'I can't throw good when I'm thinking!'

He then proceeded to pace, pace and throw the ball between his hands.

'It's no use,' he whispered, 'I just _don't get it!' _he yelled, then lobbed the ball at Lance, who caught it coolly, but looked disturbed beyond believe.

**X**

'Come on; let's go, before they all sell out!'

It was the next day, Merlin looking as if he didn't sleep a wink, which was accurate, because he hadn't.

Mithian did some sort of suspicious eye moment, then piped up at Merlin, 'I'm not actually feeling all too good,'

Oh, Merlin thought, that's a shame, 'You want to go to the nurse's office?'

'Oh!' Her eyes went wide, scared almost, 'No, no thanks I'll be fine; I think I'll just stay inside today, it's probably the heat,'

'Oh... okay then, if you're sure, 'then after some reassuring smiles, Merlin made his way outside to eat by himself. Morgana offered on the way out to sit with him on the hill, but he declined politely, saying he wanted to be alone right now.

It wasn't a complete lie; he just didn't want Morgana poking her nose where it wasn't exactly going to help, only infuriate.

So there Merlin was, on the hill, eating his carrot cake, contemplating.

Being with Arthur?

He was frightened by how violently his body reacted in favour of the thought; so violently in fact, he was worried he'd cry in public, with _a display _visible. As said, Merlin protested vigorously against crying in public, it was only for people seeking attention; so he quickly finished up and went inside.

But when he got to the doorway, on the far wall, amongst the crowd, he saw Mithian giving Arthur something in a brown paper package.

Merlin wasn't going to cry in public.

Mithian looked up at him hopefully, so filled with nervous excitement. But Arthur just seemed to be a bit shocked: he was nice about it, taking the offering and probably thanking her, but he wasn't filled with bounties of gratifying gusto.

Either way, Merlin gaped at the scene, feeling an oncoming stimulation to throw up.

However, trying to find the nearest bin was unnecessary, because there was some drama afoot.

People were running, running to the West Wing courtyard. Merlin only went because he saw Arthur go too.

Merlin walked to where he was the other day listening to the gossip, 'This way! This way!'

'It's gonna be epic!'

'That'll teach them!'

'Come on!'

Merlin wondered why they were cheering, but then he had the brain power to actually look in front of him.

He gasped.

Will had a fire extinguisher, and was blasting Valiant and company with the contents.

'Knock it off, Will!' They cried, coughing and gasping.

'Why should I listen to _you_? You didn't stop when _I_ asked you to!' His eyes were crazy, his face portraying a careless desolation as he waved the arm holding the extinguisher's pipe franticly.

'Alright we were wrong!'

But this just seemed to anger him more, 'Then you shouldn't have done it to _begin with!' _His voice, tone, and everything about him, was now not his own, but a force very dangerous. No one came to help this time, only said things as thus:

'He's lost it!'

'Has someone called a teacher?'

'Give me your phone!'

And some even encouraged him.

Merlin pushed to the front, having enough: Valiant was a dickhead, no question, but doing this wouldn't help anyone; Merlin was a firm believer that revenge was like a two-headed rat-viper: while you watch your enemy go down, you're being poisoned yourself.

'Put it down, Will!' then Merlin was taken aback for a bit, he noticed that Will was covered in spaghetti Bolognese, but he recovered, 'Will!'

Will turned round very slowly, looking into Merlin's eyes through his sauce stained hair, 'Emrys!' he spat, 'Did you just give me an order?' the volume of the words was deadly, brimmed with provocation.

'No,' he was insane right now, Merlin needed to calm him down, 'It wasn't like that,' but he realised he was panicking now, because the glint in Will's eyes, the way the sunlight reflected over them, proved he was beyond any human reason.

'Yes you did!' The crowds got out the way, while Merlin shielded his face.

'Huh?'

Merlin peeped through his arms, and felt a heavy relief: there was no more agent.

Will, wounded as he was, became even worse, as he tried with might and force to click the tank back into life, but when his efforts proved to be useless and fruitless, carried the metal cylinder into both his hands.

Merlin then registered his intent.

He couldn't run, that would be ridiculous and he'd look even more so, but he couldn't let that thing hit him!

He'd have to dodge it... hopefully. There was a thick pillar next to him on his right; he could always go behind that.

'Don't do it!'

'Will: calm down!'

Others had joined the railing, this was going too far, but they couldn't approach him physically, he was too hazardous for that right now.

But before Merlin could think, Will lunged forward and threw the tank. He saw it glide through the air, Will's cries distant, but a voice he could hear, was Arthur's:

'Merlin!'

And before Merlin could comprehend fully, he opened his eyes when he felt a shadow pass over him, but it wasn't a red gleaming tank of death, but Arthur, his back turned obviously, about to take the blow.

He must have burst through the crowds.

'_No...'_

**X**

Merlin found himself rolling, where he wanted to be, and squatted to a stop. Arthur was putting his hand out against the pillar, ready for pain, but with a movement like a crouching tiger, Merlin pounced on him, pushing him out the way and onto the floor.

Once Arthur had recovered, blinking a couple of times, leaning up on his elbows, he gazed at Merlin, eyes wide in shock.

Merlin smiled, whimpered a bit of a laugh out: no bruises or cuts today, only a mild thump of aching here and there.

Arthur smiled back, still a bit out of it but seeming happy, more than.

Merlin was then very aware of their positioning: he was practically straggled on top of his friend, but, right now, he didn't seem to mind: Arthur's welfare was more important than fear. Arthur was also very solid against him, Merlin, even through their uniform, could feel Arthur's soft flesh stretched over firm muscle.

They were very close, breathing each other's air as their lungs recovered from the exertion and speed of events, but even so, it looked as if Arthur was going to say something, by the way his eyes moved over Merlin, and his forehead creased, it was probably something to do with if Merlin was okay or not.

Merlin was still pleasantly numb by the simple fact Arthur was indeed, a bit cliché like but still very heroically, willing to jump in front of an oncoming projectile for Merlin.

But he didn't get to say it, because his almost voice was then drowned out by a sudden painful shriek, splitting the air; it was the type of sound that made you cringe.

Merlin's head instinctively looked to the source, and it was Mithian, on the floor, not moving, the fire extinguisher rolling slowly away from her, as other students crowded around her, some still filming, others trying to make her stand up, failing in the process.

Merlin looked on in horror.

It seemed to him the more he tried to avoid mishaps, the worse things became.

'Somebody get a bloody teacher!'

**X**

They were in the nurse's office, but she was sick herself today, Merlin thought that was bitterly ironic, so her assistant had to tend to Mithian, Edwin.

He said something about Merlin not being allowed in there because he was a boy, but Mithian said she wanted him there, and due to the state she was in, Edwin wasn't really one to argue.

Right now, Mithian was on a stool: shirt off, bra straps down, as Edwin was finishing tapping on some sort of large plaster bandage thing to her shoulder: it wasn't broken, but very nearly was.

He said something about a lot of bruising taking a long time to go, which made Merlin feel even worse.

'Don't cry,' Edwin comforted softly, 'it's not that bad, you were very lucky, my dear,'

'What if it leaves a scar?' she sobbed.

Merlin, standing behind them, perked up at that, steeling his face into something very determined, very resolute.

'If it does, I'll deal with it somehow,' he didn't necessarily know how, but he would, he owed her that much.

'How are you going to do that?' she asked innocently, adjusting her clothes back on, 'I'll _handle _it, okay?' he gritted out, unwavering in words, however not in voice.

The nurse door then opened.

It was Arthur, looking grim as Merlin felt.

He looked at Merlin, his eyes softening and Merlin thought maybe Arthur was still getting over Merlin not being damaged, or maybe was kind of twistedly relieved it wasn't Merlin busted up bone wise.

Merlin smiled back, and had the overpowering urge to hug Arthur.

But he didn't, it wasn't really the time or place for that.

But Arthur did, _he _hugged Merlin.

Very tightly, might he add.

And Merlin, suddenly very full of emotion, wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck in silent gratitude. The arms around him were warm, bleeding in a magical, glittering affection.

It was short-lived of course; not really being the time or place, but it was sweet while it lasted.

And as Arthur made his way to Mithian, asking if she was okay and if it hurt, Merlin felt cold, and tingly, some might say, was the sensation he felt were Arthur had been.

**X**

'ARHHH!' Merlin cried as he threw the ball to Lance.

It was just them today.

'I guess you heard then Merlin,' Lance said, matter-of-factly and mildly amused.

'SHUT UP!' Merlin shouted, catching the ball violently, twisting around, and aiming for Lance's head.

Lance sighed, 'How about I say that you miss him?'

'NO!' Merlin shot back.

'It doesn't mean anything!' Merlin panted out, arms aching, body sweating, and emotions fried, 'It doesn't mean anything, alright? Arthur's just a _nice _guy, okay? And Mithian asked _him _out, need I _add!' _The last word was stressed as Merlin lunged to catch Lance's curveball, Merlin lobbing it for Lance's chest this time, 'He doesn't even like her that way, he told me so himself, very passionately as well! He's just the nice type of guy who'll take her on one date, a really nice one, because he knows that the girl's crazy for him, but he doesn't feel that way: so yeah, out of sympathy and the good nature of his heart, Arthur will take her on a date, but only one, so she has really sweet memories of their time together,' He chucked the ball at Lance again, not aiming at all, 'And at the end of the date, he won't kiss her on the lips all romantic like, he'll peck her on the cheek, and give her a look so she understands that he's sorry, but he doesn't like her in that way, and Mithian, being a nice girl herself, will accept that fact, and be content with the memories and will swiftly get over him!'

Merlin caught and chucked another ball, panting now, his fight fainting, but the fire still raging silently.

Lance just giggled with his eyes, holding the ball, calling out to Merlin, 'He tell you all that then?' his voice was dripping with suggestion, and Merlin hated being ignorant as to Lance's knowledge of how much Arthur told him, if anything, 'Most of it, actually, he made himself perfectly clear, caught me after school,' Merlin remembered how Arthur looked at him, his pupils sheathing right into Merlin's heart, 'and he heavily implied the rest!'

If Merlin looked desperate: shoes untied, sleeves creased, hair unfixed, eye blue, complexion blue, then he was none the wiser.

Lance sniggered, 'Yeah, I know,'

'What?' Merlin flinched, and Merlin didn't know if Lance was saying that Arthur had told him that too, or if he was subtly letting Merlin know that it was okay that he was wrecking himself over this, because he knew that Arthur had feelings for him, and, from Merlin's very recent rant and display of character, the emphasis on the situation and the obsession in his voice, Merlin's reciprocating those feelings was very much a probable reality, and even if Merlin tried to deny it, the protest would obviously be a lie, because there was too much testament in his complexion to indicate it was a passion of earnest.

But Lance didn't make himself clearer, only smiled, knowing something Merlin didn't.

He walked right into that one...

And, because he had nothing else to throw, Merlin reached for a stone, and made it strike in Lancelot's direction, the other boy dodging brutally out the way.

'_Serves him right!'_

**X**

Merlin cycled home, then locked himself in his room. But since his room didn't have a lock, he pushed his chair against the knob.

Downstairs, when Merlin was called for dinner but didn't come, apparently having already ate his portion, plus some Ben & Jerry's ice cream, a banana, some custard pudding, and had stolen the last of the Galaxy Chocolate, Freya was a bit confused, 'What's wrong with Merlin?' she asked, tone high, and actually a bit concerned.

Hunith, after having closed her eyes while sighing, handed Freya her meal, 'He's having relationship troubles.'

'What about? With who?!' She asked, eager to know from both equal parts curious and mischievous, but Hunith hummed and shock her head once, proceeding to eat to finish further prying.

Merlin was lying on his bed, sideways on its length, so his head and legs dangled off in their respective directions.

His fan was on, humming lowly.

Merlin decided that enough was enough and that he needed to stop avoiding the situation. But that just made him feel worse, because he didn't feel like he was avoiding the situation; he just hadn't been in the right frame of mind to confront the issue at hand, or felt like he had enough time to fully consider everything. But he didn't like to call it an issue, because Arthur was anything but. So for a while, naturally, his mind was filled with thoughts of Arthur. But this time, instead of casting them aside, telling them to shut up, that it was nothing; he let them loose, and while they pranced about, he observed them.

The first throb he immediately felt was that Arthur was on a date with Mithian right now.

Arthur had told him about it, so he couldn't be annoyed at him on that front. Come to think of it, Merlin couldn't find any fault in what Arthur had done: he made it explicitly clear to Merlin that he had no romantic or sexual interest in Mithian, his eyes implying the rest, and because Merlin already knew how Arthur felt about him, it didn't take even Merlin long to figure out Arthur wanted Merlin clean of any thought that he was unattainable.

But this, however sweet, made Merlin realise the only thing keeping Arthur with Merlin, pursuing him, if you will, maybe wooing? He didn't know exactly the label, but the only thing keeping Arthur close to Merlin was the other boy's loyalty to his feelings. Which led Merlin to uncover the notion that although he hadn't lost Arthur this time, and shouldn't feel any bitter feelings for his actions really; there was still this sleepy, horrible, gnawing darkness making Merlin think that he might not be so lucky next time.

Merlin didn't believe Arthur was the type to settle for less than what he wanted, or to give in even if what he wanted was unachievable, but Merlin hadn't seen Arthur in any relationship, so he couldn't completely judge.

Merlin took some time now to reflect on how Arthur made him feel.

Which was probably not the wisest of decisions to make when he was already emotionally and mentally stretched, because Arthur made Merlin feel many things.

There was warmth to Arthur, the kind that sucked Merlin in, making him believe everything was happy and lovely, when in actuality, shit could be raining on them, but Arthur made Merlin oblivious to the adverse weather.

Merlin was very fond of him, and he felt very tenderly towards everything that made Arthur what he was, because Arthur wasn't classically perfect or boisterously rudely seductive; he wasn't even in-between, because Arthur, Merlin thought, really was in a league of his own.

He was good-looking, and definitely had the whole sex appeal thing going for him.

He smiled a lot.

Always smiled a lot at Merlin.

He took the piss out of Merlin a lot, which Merlin didn't really mind, because he did it to Arthur as well, but he still made it up for it by saying something completely unexpected and out the blue, like, "You are pretty special, Merlin," or "Your hair looks sexy pushed back" leaving Merlin surprised and unprepared.

Merlin hated feeling unprepared, but the way Arthur did it, it made Merlin, and he grimaced here, because would it really lower his dignity to say in those times, Arthur melted him to goo of sorts?

And, trying to calm himself down, because even thinking about his friend like this seemed to raise him in spirits and nerves , Merlin came to a sudden, and yet already known conclusion that, yes...

He would very much like to be with Arthur always, because he liked him too.

Merlin thought admitting these feelings would be a joyous occasion, a moment in which he'd spring up from his monotonous stance, shout something out in a laugh, and have his eyes brimming with tears.

However, no such occurrence happened.

Instead, Merlin was filled with much dread and fears for the future; sprung up from his monotonous stance and started to breathe quicker, gasp silently, feel as if his head was too full, something brimming out against his very skull.

He wondered if he was having a panic attack.

He didn't realise, but of course he did now, because with experience, innocence is lost; that once he had pushed that thought, allowed that feeling permission; that it would self-perpetuate.

And Merlin, lying back down, feeling so defeated inside, feared there was no return.

Merlin realised now _he _was the type to place all his hopes, all his dreams, all his affection, all his smiles, all his emotions into one single being. And never take them back.

The gates were closed, and he was alone now, alone in the cold of summer.

Merlin couldn't think anymore: whether this was from over-eating or a headache, he didn't know, but what he did know, was that this hurt more than it should, and was more complicated in practise than it should be.

He groaned, twisting his head.

Having closed his eyes, he opened them again, and he noticed a birthmark like scar thing on his left bicep, just hidden by his scrunched up sleeves.

He didn't have any birthmarks...

With new intrigue, he twisted his flesh to see the mark properly, moving his sleeve further up to see it.

It was digits, and to be honest, they kind of looked like the Jokerman font on Word.

They said, "60" with a line above them.

Merlin wondered.

**X**

Damn it!

He was there again.

At the museum.

Nimueh had some time off now though, so she suggested walking around the galleries.

The corridors were open, large rooms, art on the walls, sculptures in the centres.

Oranges and browns were the general colour scheme for this room's art. The floor was hardwood, making people's footsteps echo quietly around the polished room.

'Recognise this painting?'

'Yeah, I do, it's the one you've been trying to restore for so long.'

Mutually they looked at the piece.

On the corners, the way the shades and shapes were painted, it reminded Merlin of Klimt. But as you approached the centre, it was like one of those drawings people did about... "The Hollow Earth Theory?" Merlin guessed: the one where people believe there is another world deep below, filled with lost voices and beautiful landscapes. The blues and reds and greens and yellows merged to form blurry oceans, land, flowers and clouds. And above all this, there was a woman's face, simply painted, the edges of her complexion dimming into the background, as she gazed upon this paradise. But the smile she wore was bitterly similar to that of the Mona Lisa's, bitter in the sense she knew something you didn't, but it didn't amuse her: it made her sad.

'The more I look at this painting,' she breathed in, as if she were by the sea, 'the more relaxed and comforted you feel, a bit melancholy too, I suppose.'

Merlin hummed his agreement.

'I still don't know who the original painter was, but I did learn one thing while working on its restoration,' she paused, in her own thoughts, 'this piece was painted during a historical time of famine and war many centuries ago. I do wonder, Merlin,' and here he looked at her reflection, while still gazing at the art, 'how someone could paint such a beautiful piece when,' and Merlin thought she was about to cry, 'when it must have seemed that the world was coming to an end.'

'Now,' she said, snapping out of whatever she was thinking, 'about Arthur.'

Merlin sighed.

'Why don't you just ask him out? You know he'll say yes' Nimueh, ever serene and calm in tone, delivered this very moving piece of advice to Merlin.

'_Because,' _Merlin exasperated, at the end of his rope, 'I don't want to rush into things. And I _don't _know he'll say yes for certain. It would be like toying with someone's feelings.'

'And you couldn't do such a terrible thing?'

Merlin looked at her, feeling the blood rush from his face.

She only smiled back, 'Ever since you've been leaping into the past, you haven't exactly shown restraint. You've been playing all kinds of mind games with people.'

'_What?!' _Merlin shouted, instantly regretting his discomposure, because for a brief few seconds, he was very famous among the general public.

Nimueh had walked on to another piece.

Merlin marched up to her, embarrassment flaring, 'Is that how you see it?' and he purposefully sought for her face, sincerely shocked.

'More or less,' she replied, almost sweetly.

Merlin soured in expression, then turned to fester in his thoughts while looking at this new piece.

After a moment, he heard her speak again, this time, almost amused, doting even, 'Is _that _what you're worried about?' He looked at her, thoroughly perplexed and very vexed: she expanded her point, 'Wanting it too much? Worrying that in the future he'll get bored of you?'

How the fuck did she come to that!

She knew she'd hit her mark, but twisted the knife instead of retracting it, 'Worried that he'll leave you eventually then you'll be left alone, unable to restore your health?'

He glared at her, suddenly very hurt, wounded deeply, eyes transformed into dams, 'SHUT UP!' he yelled, and yes, his fans were looking at him now, and yes, Nimueh looked stunned, and yes, he wasn't a fan of public scenes, but he had come here for help and he'd come back injured, 'You don't know what the _fuck_ you're talking about! It's all very easy and well for you to stand there and judge like you do, listening and calculating every time you see me, don't think I don't notice it,' Merlin's throat felt very unstable, quaked with mucus or whatever made his voice wet, tears maybe, but he refused to let them fall, 'but this isn't a game: this is real life, and I can't fuck this up, because I don't have a second chance, I can't take it back if I do anything, so I need to know that I'm willing to take this risk: risk mine and Arthur's friendship!' With that, realising he was indeed about to cry, walked extremely quickly away, down several flights of abandoned stairs cases, then pounded through the front doors, gasping for air.

He couldn't risk Arthur's friendship: because Arthur was too precious to him, so he needed to think of all the variables that could be present, he needed to consider every single option, he needed to analyse every little step before he took one, because if he lost Arthur, then no amount of romantic novels, no amount of funny films, no amount of friendly helping, no amount of comfort food, would ever bring back Merlin's heart.

**X**

'What are you going to do Merlin? You're the only one who hasn't chosen yet,'

Merlin didn't hear Dr. Gaius' voice as it boomed through their form room. It was just them, in some sort of intervention interview to make Merlin decide the Arts or Sciences course.

However, Merlin was too busy trying to look at the strange markings on his bicep, at such an awkward angle that he had to stretch some of the skin and even that didn't work.

'Merlin!'

The boy suddenly snapped out of it, looking with wide eyes to the old man in front of him.

'Don't get all cocky on me just because you got a good mark on the maths quiz,' Gaius warned, face stern.

Merlin found this extremely amusing, 'I won't,' he said, smiling slyly.

Merlin still hadn't chosen, but promised to settle for something by the end of the week.

This meeting took place during lunch, and Merlin still had a few minutes left.

He spent these twisting his arm this way and that to try and look at those digits again, his curiousity growing the more it was left un-nourished.

When you come out of Merlin's form room, to the left is the extended corridor, to the right is a T-junction, a staircase at the opposite crossing.

Merlin wondered down the block spiral, finally finding an angle that worked both for his arm and head without being too painful.

'That's strange,' Merlin said aloud, because he was going mildly insane nowadays, 'I'm sure it was ninety last time,' but when he turned the corridor, he wasn't given the opportunity to ponder on what it meant, because Morgana and Morgause were at the bottom of the stairs, with a rather timid looking Gwen between them.

They were staring at him.

Merlin let his arm drop slowly.

After a few moments, Morgause pounded up the stairs, driving a very confused Merlin up against the large window.

Morgana sprinted up, looking rather an ominous mix between wanting the same goal as Morgause's soon to be relieved purpose but thinking her methods were utterly and completely wrong.

Gwen did a little scream.

'Merlin Emrys!' Morgause proclaimed, 'I am a member of the volunteer club and would like to ask you if you know anything of Lancelot's current dating life, his interests and if he wants to stay single,'

Morgana looked torn, but still shut Merlin in this bubble, while Gwen shouted behind them, 'It's nothing really!' sounding like she was about to faint.

Merlin looked at Morgana, and for a split moment, his thoughts returned to that conversation they had about Arthur.

'Merlin!' Morgause caught his attention again, and refused to be put off balance, 'Do you know if Lancelot is single? Is he going out with anyone?'

Gwen by this point was burying her face in her hands.

'Is he going out with anyone?!'

**X**

They were outside now, at the side of the school which overlooks a field, near the school gates actually; there's this row of trees and bushes along the path that's next to the school's wall, this is where Merlin found himself, brought by three slightly strange girls, all in various kinds and degrees, sitting on a bench, looking at the clouds once more.

Merlin wondered if they were called "cumulus humilis", from what he recalled vaguely from past geography lessons.

'It all happened around last summer. Apparently some members from the volunteer club from Ealdor High School went to the District Retirement Home, where my grandmother lives. Grand mum was especially impressed by one of the students, and she spoke to me about him many times. She would go on and on about what a kind and gentle boy he was, she said it over and over.'

Merlin looked at Gwen then, looking out distantly as if she were on top of a cliff.

'This might sound strange, but she talked about him so often that, I guess I kind of fell in love, even though I never met him.'

She turned round, a little blush on her cheeks. Morgana and Morgause looked at Merlin almost simultaneously and Merlin thought the timing was uncanny.

'That's a sweet story,' Merlin said, a little highly in pitch.

'When I got back from the summer holidays, and asked around, from his description, I found out that his name was Lancelot du Lac.'

'Things like that really do happen,' Merlin said, a bit surprised by his need to submit in this cause.

The girls took over for Gwen.

'The thing is: Gwen's shy, she's afraid of her own shadow.' One said, the other followed, 'We've been trying to work up her courage,' and Merlin thought that if Morgana and Morgause turned out to be two halves of a harpy monster like thing, he wouldn't even bat an eyelid.

Morgause looked pointedly, her pupils tiny in their focus, 'Then finally, _finally_, we got her to tell him that she has a crush on him.'

Things started snapping in Merlin's mind.

'Oh,' he started, 'you mean the other day?'

'Yeah' Morgana hastened to interrupt, 'but according to Lancelot,' and here, they did a dramatic pause, followed by each giving a melodramatic gesture for their next lines, Morgause proclaiming outward, Morgana crouching down like the thinking man, they both gave voices as if quoting him, '_I've already given my heart to someone!' _

'_I am sorry, but I cannot go out with you!' _

Wait... What?!

Merlin started to have yet another mini panic attack, as those words meanings started to sink in, but Morgana saved him an epileptic fit of emotional overload, 'That's not really how it went,' she deadpanned.

Merlin breathed slowly, if they were taking the piss out of Lancelot, fine, but if they were mocking Merlin's nerves, he hoped they burned on a pyre one day. He wanted front row tickets and toffee popcorn.

They resumed their normal positions either side of him, but still putting on the voices,

'_How could a bonehead like that beat me in a maths quiz?'_

'_I've got to stop slacking off so much, I'm sorry, but I'm unavailable right now.'_

'So he apologised and turned me down,' Gwen spoke softly, with much dejection, resuming her cliff gaze, the wind casting her hair into waves.

Merlin got up and turned around into the tree, thumbing it nervously, really wanting to leap out this awkward situation, but knowing that would cause more havoc, but still not really wanting to stay, he busted out a nonchalant sentence, completely obviously lacking its original purpose, 'Who's the bonehead he was talking about?'

Really? Had Lance turned this girl down because he was upset Merlin beat him in a fucking quiz?!

'That's when Lancelot told us,' Morgause ruptured out, 'upon us asking him what the frell he was on about, he told us you scored higher than him, but I don't think a sensible young man like Lancelot would turn down a sweet girl like Gwen down over something so insignificant.'

Morgana probably saw the volcano like reaction in her counterpart but let it happen anyway: she marched Merlin up against the tree, pinning him with her eyes... again, 'Time to give us an explanation!'

But Merlin cracked, breaking free by carefully and swiftly nudging her out the way, 'Okay, okay you've made your point!' He shouted, and after a few moments to consider his options, cleared his throat, 'I'll deal with this somehow.'

That wasn't the response _any _of the girls were expecting,

'Deal with it?' Morgana and Morgause said in sync, clearly miffed and a bit mystified.

'What do you mean by "somehow"?' Gwen turned.

'Just trust me!' he yelled, eyes blazing.

**X**

Merlin now, on a very hot afternoon, was finding he was running up some stairs, and to be honest, it was tiring. When he leapt at the top, the running giving him some thrust, he rolled into a couple of rubbish bins.

Not only did it hurt, but scraps of paper, not exactly empty coke cans, old books and wrappers all went straight up in aflutter, then landed near, around and on top of Merlin. But he didn't worry, oh no, he sprung up, because Merlin Emrys was on a mission.

The stares at him he ignored; some he didn't even register, as he ran to where he last saw the girls talking to Lancelot; on his jog to the field, he checked it was indeed the right date by looking at the nearest clock.

'Go on,' Morgana encouraged, her sweet smile still a bit creepy.

'Ummm,' Gwen blushed, finally looking at the kind, expectant Lancelot.

'Lancelot!' They heard Merlin shout from behind him, Lance turned, his bag swinging with the motion, 'Yeah?' but Merlin then bounced up between them, causing alarm to both parties.

'Where'd you come from?' Lance announced, 'Didn't you just head to the courtyard with Arthur?'

Merlin was getting tired of hearing people's inflections rising in astonishment.

'Never mind that!' He shouted, then pointed dramatically to Gwen with a cute smile, 'This girl here was about to tell you about how she's heard so much about you from her grandmother who's so grateful towards you for taking care of her in the retirement home, I'm impressed Lancelot,' and Merlin was about to go on, completely sure this would knock some sense into the sensible lad, but he heard a squeal behind him. He looked at Gwen, whose mouth was agape and looking a bit like Merlin was holding a shotgun to her head.

'How do you know all about my grandmother?' she asked, bemused and startled, Morgana and Morgause looking strangely defensive and symmetrically anxious.

Shit...

'Ahhh, I met her at the bowling alley,' Merlin covered, scratching his head.

'But my grandmother's bedridden!' Gwen proclaimed, now looking as if Merlin had shot someone next to her to make his point, 'Oh! Sorry, my mistake,' he wobbled.

'Let me know when you're done alright?' Lance deadpanned, now walking off while the girls ran away like gazelles, leaving poor little Merlin about ready to self-combust.

One more time!

Again!

This time when Merlin landed from his stair leap, it was into a cupboard filled with brooms and mops and their respective lovers. These items landed on Merlin on various parts of his body, Merlin groaning and grunting at the dull pain from the blunt objects.

This better bloody work, he was going black and blue for these two people and their emotional constipation.

'Lancelot!' Merlin yelled, 'Uh huh?' Lance replied, turning away to look at his friend, 'Hold on,' Merlin moaned as he pulled himself up with a broom, causing mass hysteria among the others.

'Didn't you just-'

'Hold it!' Merlin loudly beamed and proceeded to point the broom in Lancelot's face, 'You're being such a coward! What's the point of getting all sulky just because I got a better mark?! This has _nothing _to do with that!' Merlin stopped; slamming the broom down with an unsatisfying brush of brittles but in a very satisfying way like it was a staff. Merlin felt like Gandalf for a second.

But Lance, looking as if someone had slapped his face, pushed his hands onto his hips in indignation, 'What's your problem showing up and bragging your head off like this!? What has nothing to do with _what_?'

Merlin, if he turned round and wasn't glaring at Lancelot, might have seen the three girls looking dumbfounded, and he might have been able to take the warning, however, 'I'm saying that the test scores and the fact that Gwen here is _in love _with you have nothing to do with each other.'

Gwen ducked a bit, then burst through her tomato complexion, 'It's not true!' she shouted, voice shaken beyond reasonable belief, 'It's not true!' she repeated as she fled. Morgana and Morgause, having been with Gwen for a while and understanding her anxiety issues, rushed after her.

'Well you heard what the girl said,' Lance muttered, only a faint of disappointment leaking through and he headed off, 'Wait! Come back here Lancelot!' but his efforts of exertion were fruitless.

Merlin paused, looking around at the mess, and was honestly both equal parts frustrated, disbelieving and exasperated that this was actually taking so long.

He bellowed his fury.

At least Merlin was getting some exercise.

'_I've got to take a simpler approach to this'_, Merlin thought as he leapt off the swimming team's diving board, and was for a brief few seconds, actually scared shitless that he was about to fall to his death, but he fell in his pyjamas, relatively dry, onto his bed.

'What's with all the commotion? The day's just getting started,' Freya stated, much to Merlin's sudden horror, 'I went back too far!' he shouted, 'and I'm late _again_!' he exasperated, while legging it down the stairs, now in uniform, banging open the front door, his mother calling out, 'The apples, Merlin! The apples!'

During the exam, Merlin wasn't sleeping, he was resting his eyes.

Something extremely heavy hit his head, a text book, and Merlin found the dropper was in fact Dr. Gaius, who took the liberty to stand over Merlin for a while, until he was thoroughly aware of his inferiority, until he walked away.

Lancelot muttered under his breath, 'Unbelievable,' meanwhile, Arthur was chuckling quite loudly.

Merlin didn't realise that running out into the courtyard would create such attentions toward himself, 'Quit staring, just carry on!' he slashed out, making his way toward to tree, 'Could you move, please, I need this spot,' and surprisingly, the guys actually did as they were told, much to Merlin's flustered delight.

He breathed out a quick smile.

'Gwen?'

'Yeah?'

'Someone just told me they want you down in the courtyard.'

'Who does?'

'Tell me where we're going; what are you going to make me do?' Lance protested as he was being dragged by his wrist by Merlin into the courtyard, 'I'll tell you when we get there,' he silenced, voice leaving no room for augment.

'Merlin?' Mithian piped up as she approached him, '_Later!' _the boy blunted out, marching past a bewildered Mithian.

'You think this is what he meant by the courtyard?' Morgana said as he looked around for some indication that they were meant to be there as the three sat under the tree, 'Who knows?' Morgause sighed out.

Kay was swinging Valiant by this point.

Merlin saw this, and it was time for the finishing touch to his plan, 'Staaaand,' he started, as he manoeuvred Lancelot in front of him with a pull, '_there,' _ending it with a push.

These actions resulted in Lancelot stumbling into the line of action as Valiant was thrown into him flinging them both into the tree. Morgana and Morgause were able to escape any damage, leaping out the way on their respective sides of Gwen, who, fortunately, didn't see what was going on, so was crushed.

Merlin backed away from the crowd with a satisfied smile.

'What the hell's your problem, get off!' Lance said, shoving Valiant off him.

'You're hurting me,' Lancelot heard a muffled voice claim, and when he looked down, he saw he was devastating Gwen's ribcage, he gasped, 'I'm sorry,' moving up and out the way, and if Gwen were an anime character, she'd have Xs for eyes right now.

Lance helped her up, tending to her as if she could break at any moment, and when she staggered into his arms, his eyes and mind were fixed upon only her, 'I think you sprained it,' he said, nodding to her ankle, supporting her weight, 'Oh no, it's fine,' she sprinted out, but her body disagreed with her mouth profusely, 'Here, put your arm around me,' then Lancelot crouched so she could do just that, but Gwen blushed, gasping and gulping, sudden sweat breaking out on her temple, 'What are you doing?' But it was quite obvious: he placed her arm around his neck with his left arm, then holding the hand, guided her in the direction of the nurse's office, cradling her waist with his right arm, 'Oh... thank you,' she whispered out, very much like a damsel in distress should to her hero.

Merlin observed all of this, and he was pleased, to say the least.

Morgana looked at the staggering couple, 'What do you think of this new development?' she smiled and hinted to her other self, 'This could be the start of something, the start of something beautiful,' Morgause mused, both thoroughly self-contented then whispered about their next plans as if London Bridge's fate was on their shoulders.

Merlin sighed, and allowed himself a little dance of victory, throwing his arms into the air, 'Alright!' he proclaimed to nobody in particular, 'Everything's good again thanks to yours truly! I can't remember the last time I was this happy,' and he ended this little mental display with a giggle.

But something caught his eye, and it was the fact that the Jokerman mark on his bicep now said

"10"

That line was misleading though, and Merlin decided to go with logic this time, and turned his arm a way so that it was more obvious...

'1' he breathed out, all happiness fading out.

Well, Merlin thought sadly, but ignoring the emotion, now that he had one last leap left, then this experience was almost over. Then, on a sudden acknowledgment, he remembered he saw a person this day, when he got the power, and now, deciding he wanted to catch that person, to see if the number really did represent his leaps, and if so, to see if he could get more, because, he thought, no ordinary child could walk through walls, so maybe they knew something about it, and maybe, they could help Merlin somehow.

Why would they have been there in the first place?

He sprinted off in the direction of the science prep room.


	3. The Final Step

**Look Before You Leap**

**Chapter 3**

**The Final Step**

_**Immature Love says: **__'I love you because I need you'_

_**Mature Love says: **__'I need you because I love you'_

**Erich Fromm**

It was now around the time that Merlin fell, he thought. Between two worktops in the room, he crouched by the one nearest the window and waddled lowly round, waiting every few steps for a new development, a change in tension, something to indicate another was here.

Merlin, having not seen or heard any movements besides his own in the room, went to the spot where he fell.

He couldn't see the infamous "Deku Nut" object, he did a little searching just to be sure, like a borrower, he thought, but all was in vain.

A little disheartened, Merlin then waddled still crouched to the other side of the room and waited there for a while.

Long minutes passed, but nothing changed about the aura to the room.

'_No-one's here; maybe I got here too early_,' Merlin pondered, his low spirits tempting him to leave, but as luck would have it, the door clicked open as soon as he finished his doubting.

He saw a silhouette, due to how the light hit them, and they were holding something. Before Merlin thought better of it, he sprung up like a coil, 'Excuse me, I have a question for y-' but the conviction in his voice was lost on _Mithian_.

'Oh, Merlin,' she then motioned to the test papers, 'I brought these up for you; you're always so forgetful, like a goldfish is it?'

_Oh... right..._

'Thanks,' he spoke, the word dying as soon as it left his mouth.

She giggled, 'I thought as much, anyway, what's your question?'

'Oh it was nothing, really, silly really,' Merlin stuttered out, feeling flushed and dismayed.

Mithian seemed to be taken aback slightly, not really understanding Merlin for a moment, but she must have brushed it off as one of his funny antics, because she replied like this, 'Well, well if you're sure,' pausing, waiting politely for Merlin to observe his window of opportunity, then, 'I'll put these down then,' and left.

It couldn't have been Mithian before, Merlin lamented, as he slowly trudged to the door as well, because last time he brought the exams up here, so there was still some hope, he supposed.

'Hey, Mithian!' Merlin called out, 'Did you see anyone on your way up here?'

'Like who?' she sweetly replied, tone suddenly interested, but that wasn't the reply Merlin wanted to dissect right now, 'Never mind,' he pushed out, looking out the window and gave a Jane Austen sigh, 'Alright...'

Merlin's phone buzzed then, pulling Merlin from his dirge of mind. He took the offending piece of technology from his pocket, and decided he didn't mind who it was, it read:

_She just asked me out! Jealous? I can't believe it really_

Lancelot was so cute, honestly, him and his little mind, Merlin thought, '_Who do you think set it up for you in the first place?_' while placing the phone back into his pocket smugly.

However, Merlin felt a very sudden coldness spread through him, he quickly looked at the text again with lightening speed, and read the last part again:

_I'll need to borrow your bike by the way; you can double with Arthur :) _

Despite the sun, Merlin felt sickening chills, just staring at those few words, wondering what they meant, and what they could mean.

'Pen-dra-gon,' Lancelot pronounced as he unlocked Merlin's bike in the little overhang that held the vehicles, 'Merlin's code is Arthur's birthday,' he informed Gwen, who smiled, 'That's sweet.'

'So,' Lancelot started, not nervous at all, only terrified he might ruin things, but confident in his own skills if he treated things right, 'Where do you live?'

'A couple roads from the station,'

'Right,' he punctuated while plonking Merlin's bike between them, 'we should go to my dad's after to check out your ankle, just in case,' and how could Gwen show any resistance to Lancelot's charming intimate smile? 'Our clinic isn't too far from there.'

Merlin burst through the door, arms flailing everywhere, mind flailing everywhere, heart flailing as much as the strings would allow. He ran past Mithian, already panting, clutching onto the door to the corridor and slid it across, the wood banging and recoiling back violently as Merlin dashed from the room, Mithian looking at him and calling out loudly to try and catch him, 'Actually, I did see someone on my way up here!' But Merlin was already halfway down the stairs.

'It was _Arthur_!'

'Lancelot!' Merlin called as he plundered into the volunteer club's common room. Merlin looked around wildly, his eyes bulging, trying to see his form, but he wasn't there.

'He went home,' someone said.

'Yeah, holding hands with that Year 11,' another sniggered.

Merlin, unnaturally grateful for their advise, but horribly panicked that Lancelot was already ahead of him, dashed back out, and scurried through the corridors until he got outside, and pelted to the bike shed thing-place.

Breathing heavily, he admitted aloud, 'It's gone,' in equal parts agitated and anxious.

No time to lose, he then raced forwards, out of the school, in the direction of the crossing, yanking his phone from his pocket, hoping to stop Lancelot somehow, but as the phone buttons beeped, the tone beeped, Merlin was told Lancelot was already using the line. Merlin cursed desperately, and tried again, screaming out, 'Answer your fucking phone!'

'Yeah, it's me dad,' Lancelot said, Gwen holding onto his waist delicately as shops and restaurants passed them along with the traffic,

'I've got a sprained ankle for you; think you could take a look at it?'

'No it's not me,'

'Sure, we'll be right there,'

'Thanks for all this,' Gwen whispered tenderly, Lance shooting her a warming glow back.

'_Please leave a message after-'_

'Damn!' Merlin barked, stabbing the hang up sign with his thumb. He was just getting out of the school gates, legs already burning, but he pushed them anyway.

He leaped over hedges, ducked into alleyways, and more than once stumbled over something or other, head alert and mind focusing on only one goal; streets and houses whizzing past him, the sides of his vision hazing. His lungs felt as if they were filled with acid, but thank god he was going downhill now.

'_Should I go back in time? Then again, it's not like anything's happened yet, I could still make it!'_

Merlin rasped out a gasp as he tripped up.

The lights of the crossing started bleeping and flashing a ruby red, alternatively hopping from one side of the lamp to the other.

Merlin came running down the hill, the world whooshing past him, but the only sound he could hear were the pants in his ears and then the resonating hoot of the turning train. He looked up, searching frantically for any signs of Lancelot or Gwen, however there were none, and by the time he got to the bottom of the hill, the trains were whizzing and cluttering past each other. Merlin put his arms to his knees and gasped.

The yellow and black striped bars rose, and life seemed pretty normal. Merlin, in the back of his mind, felt a short sensation of foreboding, but was surprisingly and pleasantly satisfied nothing had happened; maybe they had already crossed anyway.

There were no signs of an accident, and Merlin morbidly thought that there was no blood anywhere.

He asked a passing pregnant woman with her first child if she'd seen a bike accident around here, or had heard of one, just to be safe.

She replied in the negative, 'No, I haven't, I don't think so,' then turning to her child, walking away, 'an accident he said – how scary!'

Merlin then felt his phone's ring, indicating someone was calling him. He lashed onto it like a lifeline, 'Where are you Lancelot? Lancelot!'

But it wasn't him.

Merlin then felt a potent sink in his heart, of imagining _him_ alone in the local court, in his sleeveless red t-shirt, and Merlin knew his sad lamentations bled on his face.

'_Arthur,' _he spoke with such heavy fondness and gloomy guilt. He started slowly walking up the hill, thinking of how Arthur must be kicking the dirt slightly in embarrassment.

'Lancelot's at his place with the girl, what's up? You two did a jump at the field,' and Merlin felt such a pull on his heartstrings, because Arthur was trying to make it sound like a joke.

'I'm sorry,' Merlin spoke softly and truly meant it.

'I'm still waiting,' Arthur said, still carefree-sounding, and with the pause that followed, it seemed like the conversation would end, but Merlin didn't want it to, he liked the sound of Arthur's husky yet smooth voice cracking down the phone.

'Wait, Arthur,' Merlin said with much haste.

'Yeah?'

Merlin didn't know what his mind wanted to say, but his chest ached a lot, 'There's... there's something I've been wanting to ask you for a while now,' he uttered out, barely audible even to him, but he knew he said it, and he knew Arthur heard.

'Do you have fun playing ball with me?' his little voice tempted out.

'What are you talking about?'

'I mean, I have a lot of fun playing baseball with you,' but, Arthur then scoffed a bit after Merlin's tentative line,

'You sure suck for someone who likes it so much,' and he heard Arthur giggle to himself.

'You'd suck too if enthusiasm didn't count!' Merlin bellowed exposed.

'That's better than nothing,' Arthur teased, and for some strangely simple reason, Merlin found himself laughing; he didn't laugh like he usually did though, he laughed as if he was free, and for once, he wasn't ashamed of the almost tears that came with it.

'What's so funny?' Arthur asked, chuckling generously as well, and Merlin imagined his toothy grin.

'It's nice talking to you, it feels like it's been ages,' Merlin sighed, and wanted more than anything to be in that field right now.

'What you on about? We've been talking all day,' Arthur pointed out, his smirk coming through the phone with uncanny precision, 'If you miss me that much then-' but Merlin started to blush, feeling hot, because he knew how Arthur felt, and he knew the happiness such knowledge could give him.

'D-Don't be so stupid,' Merlin stuttered.

'I'm kidding, I'm kidding, calm down,' Arthur said, and Merlin noticed just how much his voice rose in pitch, his throat going gravelly somewhat from the strain.

Merlin smiled.

'Actually, Merlin,' and now, Merlin felt the atmosphere change: he'd been here before, 'there _is _something I've been meaning to ask you as well.'

Merlin knew that resolve, had seen and heard it several times... but he wouldn't leap now.

Morgana once asked him what the problem was; he said he didn't know, but maybe he knew he was in love: he thought about Arthur every time he thought about him, he just couldn't stop thinking about him. He wondered how long it would take to cure it, just to cure it because he couldn't ignore it if it was love: it made him want so much more. He'd been like a snowball running, running down into the spring that's coming all this love; melting under blue skies, belting out sunlight shimmering love. And it was _now _that he surrendered to the strawberry ice cream never ever end of all this love. He didn't mean to do it, but there was no escaping Arthur's love. He'd jump that little bit higher, turn that little bit tighter; for his sake, and for Arthur's, because he had a chance for happiness, and he wanted to take it now: he'd jump off the edge, never knowing if there was solid ground below, or hand to hold. But Merlin was comforted and contented, because at least he could hold _Arthur's _hand, and that would be more than enough.

Merlin was ready, and with excitable butterflies, he waited for Arthur's question.

Merlin's spirits were so high in fact, that shock was inevitable.

'H-Have you been... time leaping?'

**X**

'Actually, Merlin, there _is _something I've been meaning to ask you as well.'

'No, wait! Hang on a second!' Merlin blasted out. He didn't know why he leaped again, of course he meant to but, the idea of Arthur knowing just... startled him; maybe Arthur knew about everything else – maybe Arthur had figured out that he had already asked Merlin.

He couldn't bare the notion that Arthur might think less of him. And maybe he did it out of rage also, because he had been so ready to jump on Arthur's confession, his proposal.

'Let's talk about my little sister!'

'Huh? Why?'

Merlin flinched in his speech, 'Because! Oh man is she stupid and really annoying and she once stole my cus-'

'Hello? I was talking here,' Arthur deadpanned, and now that the moment was officially and spectacularly obliterated, Arthur sighed, and Merlin could hear his brain working, retracting the thought, 'N-Never mind,' he said lowly, but then perked up, but Merlin had the sickening feeling it was just for show, 'I'll be waiting,' then he hung-up.

And Merlin was left with the phone's beeping like a flat line.

'_How in the world does Arthur even know about it?'_

But before a whole new flood of worrying thoughts could cascade into his mind, one very profound realisation struck him: he rolled up his shirt higher.

00

He had no more leaps.

It was over.

Merlin was filled with a fury, a fury at himself.

'_I wasted the last one on something so LAME!' _

Oh well, Merlin thought to himself, trying his best to brighten the situation, and not think about any lingering disappoint still present in him. At least Lancelot didn't get hurt, and that's what counted.

'Hey, Merlin,' Lance shouted.

Merlin looked straight in front of him, and there was Lance and the girl, Gwen, riding double down the hill, now passing Merlin.

For a moment that felt incredibly long, Merlin didn't hear anything: he didn't hear the general blur of people's talk around him; he didn't hear the clicking of the bike; all he could feel was the increasing pound of his heart, and the blood pumping in his ears.

Merlin's head followed the bike's movement as it passed him, Lance shouting out; 'I need to borrow your bike a bit longer,' filled with joy.

Merlin felt paralysed, then with a force not of his conscious creation, his arms went numb, dropping his phone, as he then raced after them, eyes wide, mind wide.

'Wait!' Merlin yelled, the bike's speed escalating, 'No, wait, stop!' but at that moment, he stumbled, and a woman with a boy walked in front of him. They collided, her shopping going everywhere.

'Honestly! Children these days! Apologise at once!' but Merlin had already picked himself up, the rough embrace with the ground leaving scratches and scraps all over his exposed skin.

He was running so fast that the contact of his feet with the hill's surface seemed to recoil him into the next motion, 'Stop, Lance, stop!' he panted out, yelling his throat raw.

The lights of the crossing started bleeping and flashing a ruby red, alternatively hopping from one side of the lamp to the other.

Merlin came running down the hill, the world whooshing past him, but the only sound he could hear was the pants in his ears and then the resonating hoot of the turning train.

'Wait! Stop, Lance!' His vision was hazy with the lack of air he was gaining, but he could make out a struggle on the bike.

The beeping of the lights echoed eerily on as the approaching train's heavy hooted base sounded out again.

Merlin just kept repeating Lance's name, as he bashed, crashed and smashed into people, knocking him this way and that, as the bike was quickly disappearing in the crowds. Merlin gasped out every time a collision was particularly strong.

A shoe then mashed with his face, knocking Merlin to the ground as he rolled down the hill, bouncing slowly, the claws of the concrete scratching at his skin.

Merlin finally stopped, blood stains behind him.

He hurt, he hurt so awfully all over, and there was an aching in his skull, which worsened as people gathered round him, wondering if he was alive even.

Merlin lifted his head, quick bruises and cracked cuts already showing, as he looked on in absolute horror, stunned and helpless.

He heard the gong of the bike hitting the barrier, Lancelot and Gwen flung into the air; she looked so scared.

Tears quickly brimmed in his eyes.

He slammed his eyes shut, wishing the pain away.

'Stop, stop, stop, stop,' he screamed, his throat rasping, 'Stop, stop, stop, _stop!'_

**X**

Merlin opened his eyes again, but to a silent world.

All of nature's natural colours were dulled, it seemed, and everything was frozen. The shades of the light looked cold to touch.

Merlin sprung up, all his injuries gone, as he whirled around himself, looking at the stillness.

'What's going on?' he breathed out, as if someone could hear him.

'I knew it was you,' a voice said, as if it carried the burden of an age.

Merlin knew that husky smooth voice; he jumped round to see Arthur, Merlin's bike leaning against him as he held it.

'Arthur?' Merlin asked, in complete thoughtless astonishment, 'What are you doing here? Where's Lancelot?' he said, incredibly light-headed.

'Probably still at home,' he said, his face looking remarkably sad.

'What?' Merlin stuttered out, not sure if he should be relieved or not, 'But, he was just here,' Merlin said, absolutely sure he was telling the truth, utterly bewildered; Arthur then pulled Merlin's brakes, and let them flop back into their position, as if that explained more than Arthur could describe.

Then it all clicked, Merlin thought, as Arthur stared at him, wordless, just staring with a sunken brow, 'Wait... did _you _do this? Can you time leap too?'

Merlin thought he'd never seen Arthur look so entirely dejected, even in his red sleeveless t-shirt, his school shirt overhanging it, resting on his shoulders, he wasn't the carefree boy Merlin knew anymore.

'Would you laugh Merlin,' Arthur started, not really looking at him, caught in his thoughts, then pierced Merlin's soul with his ocean eyes, a storm calming, the ebbing tides revealing the pain, 'if I said I was from the future?'

Merlin, who thought that he knew a great deal about some things, found he knew very little altogether, and was once again, speechless and thoughtless, however this time, he had a heavy heart, and felt as if his bones had been cracked by bullets.

They had been walking for... Merlin didn't know. Arthur had been silent the whole walk, as Merlin stared around himself.

He didn't know what it was specifically: whether it was Arthur's crestfallen expression, whether it was the stone expressions around him, or the ominous silence, the kind that made one feel breaks of nerves in their body, but he felt very suddenly, very sad.

Everything, everything was dead still: the birds in the sky, children playing outside, the grass in the wind, a woman watering her roses, business men talking on phones, and just the general public looking so isolated in themselves despite living so close to others: all of it – paused in ice, paused in marble.

Then Arthur finally spoke, his strength only recovered enough to speak, and Merlin thought, if sounds had shades, Arthur's would be grey, 'In my time, there is a device invented so people can time leap whenever they wish,' he then produced the mysterious Deku Seed, 'this is it here,' Merlin looked at the charred looking piece of nut, 'you use it to charge your body, that's how I came to this era.'

'This device,' Arthur continued, inspiring such emotion in Merlin by his glum tone, 'I didn't realise it at first, but along the way – I lost it, I panicked,' he said, his eyes crashing closed for a moment, as if the memory gave him physical pain, 'I looked everywhere, and eventually found it, in the science prep room,' he then flexed his hand to crush the device, the popping sound crinkling into dust, 'but by then, it had already been used up.'

They were in a park now, the pigeons frozen as were the woman feeding them, Arthur walked in front, 'I had trouble sleeping, thinking it might have fallen into the wrong hands,' and here he seemed to stop, gazing out in front of him.

Merlin wanted to reach out, he needed to touch Arthur, tell him that he was sorry, that it was alright, somehow, because the tension in Arthur choked Merlin's chest. But he didn't know if he should.

'Why did you come here?' Merlin asked, wondering why he had met this strange space boy, and finding it funny how he believed every word Arthur said.

Arthur turned to look at Merlin, and there was a brief glint in his eye, the pupil, as if the sight of Merlin was agonizing to him; it was momentary and Arthur recovered excellently, but Merlin saw it, and Arthur knew he saw it.

Arthur walked them someplace, and before long, Merlin found himself in the art gallery.

'There was a painting that I desperately wanted to see,' Arthur explained, again, looking forlorn and trapped, 'No matter how far it was, or what kind of place it was in, no matter how dangerous the journey,' they were in front of a notice which read how the gallery was sorry for a lack of art on this spot, and how one would be there shortly.

Arthur placed his hand on the glass, 'I wanted to see it.'

Merlin, again, was overcome with a desire to hold him, feel him, 'Unfortunately in my time, the painting has already been destroyed, and before these times, the whereabouts are unknown. The only accurate record of it was in this era, this place, in this season.'

'So,' Merlin started, his voice small, 'you came all this way?'

Arthur closed his eyes, and Merlin wondered with such soreness in his heart, of what life was like for Arthur truly, in his time.

'All I needed was to see it,' he breathed, and sighed, 'I was going to remember it for the rest of my life,' his hand then slowly descended the glass, a whine escaping the action; his arm fell, lifeless beside him before he placed both his hands in his pockets, 'But I guess there's no point now,' then he turned and walked away, the slump of his shoulders carrying a weight Merlin would probably never know, he thought, 'to anything.'

'What do you mean you can't return!' Merlin shouted, but his voice was still so little, so ready to break, as he ran after Arthur, who was now in the gallery's lobby.

'It means just that, I can't go back to my time,' Arthur spoke, every word a vanishing wash on the winds.

'But _why_?' Merlin pleaded, having enough of seeing Arthur so sad and knowing he was the cause; his heart was full.

'Because,' he turned, stopping Merlin; then showed what was beneath his left wrist's sweatband.

Jokerman digits; of birthmark colour; flashing zero.

Merlin didn't want to think about what that meant.

'Because having to steal your bike, that Lance was supposed to ride, used up all the time leaps I had left.'

'What will you do?' Merlin said, his words wet, his heart sinking.

'There's nothing I _can _do,' Arthur uttered, placing the sweatband back.

'But why would you waste it on that?' Merlin shouted, battling tears so ready to spill over the barrier of his eyes, like pushing doors, 'Why didn't you use it for when you really needed it!'

'I _did _use it for something important,' Arthur said, his words firm, unyielding, and withdrawn, 'You might not have fully realised it yet, Merlin, but Lance and that girl _did_ die once, at that train crossing.'

Merlin was struck into silence, 'A certain _someone _was sobbing his eyes out, blaming himself for everything, so, really, it was the only choice I had.'

Arthur must have seen the pain in Merlin's eyes, because he flinched from his harsh words, stepped forward, and looked as if he might hold Merlin's wrist.

'I was supposed to go home,' and now, Merlin felt breathless, as if he and Arthur were in a bubble – a humid capsule too small to accommodate them; Arthur looked into his very soul, and found something special, because his features softened, but seemed more lonely, 'but being with you was so much fun, Merlin,' but he then looked out of the window in the doors, breathing as if he'd broken through the surface of a lake.

Merlin waited.

'I saw a river run through the land for the first time,' he started, with remnants of joy, 'I rode a _bike _for the first time,' he sighed, 'I discovered how infinite meadows can be, how enormous the sky is,' and upon Arthur's distant wondering in his look again, Merlin realised just how clueless he had been.

They were on the slope by Avalon River, now, noting how the water looked frozen, but not like in winter.

They were looking out, side by side, the only vivid colour in the landscape, silent.

That was until Arthur spoke, 'I really like this era, you have baseball,' he added, as a side comment, laughing slightly.

Merlin perked up at this display, 'What? Baseball disappears? For real?' he questioned, his voice alive, turning to Arthur, hoping for a smile.

But when he looked to him, Arthur was walking away on the path.

Merlin felt too stunned to move, so he tried to reel Arthur back with his words, his most heartfelt words, 'That painting!' he started, only faintly relived to see Arthur stop, 'It's not there now, but you'll be able to see it soon; it's getting restored, that's why it's not there,' Merlin desperately ran out, eager to see Arthur's face, and his efforts were rewarded.

Never had such a short few metres felt so vast.

Merlin knew his voice was shaking, that his body was vibrating with nervous energy, but he didn't care if he sounded despaired, 'How about the three of us go: you, me and Lance? Especially now that the summer holidays are about to start,' Merlin didn't know what was more distressing, Arthur's blankness or his melancholy, 'what do you say, Arthur?'

Merlin swallowed, panting mouth agape, his lower lip quivering.

'Sorry,' Arthur said, his voice more deep than usual, vibrating in Merlin's chest, 'I can't.'

'Why not?' Merlin yelled.

'As of tomorrow, I won't be here,' Merlin knew that he couldn't return to his own time, so Merlin didn't know what Arthur meant by that; a doubting thread of mind gnawed something dreadful, but Merlin refused to entertain it, 'I'm not supposed to let the people of the past know about time leaps, I broke that rule,' and on every word, it seemed he was becoming more drained, 'that's why, I'll never be able to see you again,' then the gnawing exploded: Merlin's body convulsed with the rupture: not only was Arthur stuck because of Merlin, but, by the stern brow of Arthur, and his pointed look of sorrow, Merlin fell into deep mire.

He didn't want Arthur to die.

He couldn't.

Merlin panicked, his cheeks river-marked, 'You promised we'd go to a night gig together!' he shouted, voice raw, throat raw, eyes raw, everything raw.

'I'm sorry,' Arthur said, sniffing, licking his lips, doing all he could to hold himself together.

'You promised we'd go to that fireworks festival!' Merlin wept.

'I'm really sorry,' Arthur choked out, breathing so heavily.

'Jerk!' Merlin yelled, his tears flying from his cheeks as he stepped closer towards Arthur and pushed him away, 'Fine then! Just go!' he sobbed, Arthur looking at him so blue, just letting Merlin push him away, and then started to walk away with his own strength.

Merlin looked after at his retreating figure, then felt a cold snap fissure through his chest, extending to his limbs, 'No! Wait!' he yelled, running after him, then grabbed his wrist, yanking Arthur to face him.

Staring.

They had too much to say to each other, could have been so much more, words lost behind; what stung Merlin also, was, how he'd never get to tell Arthur he loved him.

Because he did. Love him. And now it was too late.

'I want,' Merlin spoke, battling the lump in his throat, looking down at where they touched, how his fingers wrapped around Arthur's thick wrist, then closing his eyes, because it hurt too much.

'What do you want, Merlin?' Arthur's words shook past his lips, his eyes, his face, now expressing a desperate desolation.

But Merlin couldn't meet those seeking eyes, so let his head fall on the boy's shoulder instead, weeping into his neck, his lips gently caressing the soft skin over the taunt flesh as he breathed,

'I want you to stay.'

But as soon as Merlin uttered the words, dared to open his eyes, he saw the edge of Arthur's fingers disappearing.

It was an odd experience, seeming like the edge of paper when you blow out the flame, so it crinkles from that moving line of glow.

That's what it looked like.

Arthur was burning away.

Merlin sought Arthur's eyes, needing to know the other boy knew what he meant, so that he could communicate his desires with his eyes, but by the time he even moved, the line was up to the side of Arthur's neck.

The strange, future boy smiled, then was no more.

Merlin stared, wide eyed, tears brimming, as the world around him faded into motion and colour.

Merlin was so very pale, frozen, still clasping the air.

**X**

It was the talk of the school – everyone spoke of how mysteriously and suddenly Arthur Pendragon left the world – no trace, no letter, no goodbye to anyone; except for Merlin, which he had to keep silent about, therefore, had to endure the ignorant whispers that were louder than even if everyone was carrying their own ghetto blaster at full volume.

Currently, Merlin was standing at Arthur's desk.

No-one had heard him speak.

The whispers were constant:

'Why did Arthur Pendragon have to leave?'

'I heard it was because he was in debt and the mafia was after him.'

'That's not true is it? I always thought there was something fishy about him.'

'Are you sure it isn't like something like his parents getting a divorce?'

'Well, I heard it was because he was seeing an older woman, and got her pregnant.'

'Are you serious?'

The gasps that followed were disgusting.

All Merlin wanted was to be left alone, but two girls had the nerve to approach him from one of the huddles.

Merlin legged it out the room, moving chairs out his way, quite silently despite his mind's workings.

'I told you, he's not that type of guy!' Lancelot shouted, growling now as he was being cornered by boy gossips.

'I heard he lost a bet and stabbed some guy,' one of them crudely said; laughter in his voice.

Lance saw a figure running through the crowds in the corner of his eye, naturally following the sudden visual stimulation, he saw it was Merlin.

'I thought it was with a brick to the head?'

'No, he got out a knife and slashed his arm then went for his chest!'

'I _told you_, he's not that kind of guy!' Lancelot brushed off, racing after Merlin.

They were outside now, on the hill overlooking the school's courts, under a tree in the shade.

Both were silent.

Merlin was cradling his legs; Lance was leaning back with a stern face.

Merlin only allowed Lance to stay because he was the only other one vaguely close to Arthur, so wouldn't talk about him; Lance was also the strong-silent-type when it came to emotional constipation, so Merlin thought he was safe.

Lance broke his rule,

'What the hell happened to him?' he uttered, hushed and as if he was talking to himself, but Merlin knew it wasn't dreamy enough to be a thought out loud.

Lance must have taken Merlin's stillness to be some sort of permission.

It was not.

'It's one thing to not tell me, but, he could have at least spoken to _you _about it,' Lance pressed, disrupting the whirling of lost ships of thought in Merlin's mind.

Merlin thought that, all things considered, he was actually doing an at least decent job of not breaking down, or "unravelling" or self-harming or some weird shit like that. But Merlin wasn't the type to take out emotional pain from himself by replacing it with physical pain: he was the type to hold it in, bottle it up, if you will, labelling each one and placing them in a nice neat cupboard.

He thought he locked it.

He thought the caps were on securely.

His head hurt recently, as if a tempest were raging in his skull. Dark clouds, heavy rain, dark blues and a greyscale of colours everywhere.

'I mean... considering he had a thing for you,' Lance said tentatively, as if thinking now of all times would be the right time to say it, yet still fearful of Merlin bursting.

Lightening struck his heart.

'Did... did Arthur say that?'

Lance wasn't as tense anymore, willing to go on, but was still cautious.

'Yeah, I thought it was obvious though,' another lightening strike, thunder pounding out, 'didn't you notice?'

Lancelot's sweet innocent ignorance was not helping Merlin in the slightest, it was making things irrevocably worse, and to be reminded of filling a fate where he was extremely unhappy, hurting his dearest friend the most, to be reminded of his cowardly naive actions – Merlin felt a torrent of sea water approach his eyes.

'But, you're awkward with things like that,' Lance continued, 'maybe... that's why he couldn't come out with it,'

Insufferable boy! He really didn't know anything, did he?

'Lance,' Merlin started, rising up, fists clenched, 'I'm a horrible person!' his throat struggled through the shout.

'He _did _want to tell me something important, but I pretended the conversation never happened.'

Merlin felt it now, the rising wave nearing him.

He tensed his fists tighter, 'Why didn't I take what he said more seriously?'

And now it crashed in to him, full force and flooding his every nerve, every fibre, everywhere that was solid: it crumbled, everywhere there was liquid: it poisoned, every space: overflowing with a crammed potency and overwhelming sadness.

Lance must have seen the tears, must have heard the sniffs and little gasps, for his face fell in concern, and he whispered Merlin's name.

However, any comfort Lancelot thought he could give: it wouldn't be enough, wouldn't be even remotely sufficient.

There was only one who could provide Merlin with his medicine.

Merlin ran from him when he felt a touch to his shoulder, ran across the path. His gasps were now completely out of his control, and he felt the waters surround him, the surface quickly dimming from his sight.

He ran through corridors, he ran up stairs, until he banged through the school roof's door, stumbling as the current pulled him under.

He collapsed slowly to the floor, aware and completely conscious of the fat, flabby tears streaking his face.

He missed him.

Merlin missed Arthur so much.

Loving him, it was so easy, so easy because Arthur was so beautiful; touching him, was all Merlin ever wanted to do.

Loving Arthur was more than just a dream come true, it was everything that Merlin did, and everything that Merlin did was out of loving Arthur!

He felt and understood the quantity in which he was sobbing, his gasps as if he were starved of air, his eyes large with moisture as the liquid sped down his face, the dams utterly obliterated. His face became so cold in the breezes that came and died.

No-one else could make him feel the colours that Arthur brought, and now, more than ever, with a dangerous desperation, wished for Arthur to be with him now, and with these thoughts, they manifested into a notion of how Merlin wished for Arthur to stay while they grew old, and they would live each day in springtime, because _just loving _Arthur had made Merlin's life so beautiful.

Every day of Merlin's life was filled with loving Arthur.

Loving Arthur, he could see his soul come shining through, and Merlin was sometimes even pleasantly blinded by his radiance.

Every time that Arthur just _looked at _him, Merlin was a little bit more in love with him.

Merlin's sniffs were obscene, his nose numb with it, as rivers of gushing power blasted forth from his eyes like white water. Merlin started to cry out loud, the feelings too precise in their punctures to be physically contained.

He could hear birdsong, and doves flew over him.

He knew he was an ugly crier, as his lips quivered and rapidly became raw with his yells, only made louder and more obtrusive by the stunning fact that he couldn't blame anyone else but himself: he was the sole cause for Arthur's death, and such philosophy tackled him and broke him, but at least he was alone.

No-one to hear his turmoil as the breezes whirled past, carried on their backs.

No-one to hear his turmoil: while Merlin wept into the wind.

**X**

It was evening.

Nimueh had just finished pouring the latest cup of tea for them, the liquid hot and steaming. She looked back to Merlin in the other room: hopeless. She had supposed at first that his dejection was a cause from losing the ability to jump, realising it was limited. But as their discourse revealed – Merlin's heart ache was from a much greater loss.

She looked between him and the mugs of tea – her kitchen was in a room to the right of the main space – where Merlin was: curled up into a ball on the sofa, eyes tired and heavy-looking from all the crying, his whole face shades paler and duller from what it should be. She noted a vacant, blank expression to his eye, as if his spirit had left him, and all that remained was a husk, a shell.

She was saddened further.

After she was able to understand what Merlin was saying, for he started and stammered, wept and walked about wildly, did the weight of his relationship with Arthur fully become realised to her.

From this angle, semi-spying on him from the other room, it looked as if he had stopped breathing altogether.

After Merlin had informed her of what had happened, he told her of what had passed during the day: whispers and small calls from ignorant, silly, little people, he called them; he said their minds were unfaithful, malleable in the most morbid content, he spoke passionately and loudly of how wrong they all were of Arthur: how the boy was more stunning and rare than anything else – but only Merlin could see that, because Arthur liked to keep a low profile, understanding the world was not ready.

Then Merlin's final words silenced him for the rest of the hours he just sat there,

'They're all just thieves and vultures,_ feeding on anything, _blowing up everything that he's done! It's _fucking _disgusting, and if I could, I sincerely would kill them all; they don't understand, and never will,' a natural pause followed, 'just how truly beautiful he can be.'

She picked up the mugs, and moved to the other room, replacing Merlin's cold tea, and resolved to help his soul, because the atmosphere around him could only be described as, "damp."

'Feeling any better,' she spoke softly, trying to coax something alive out of Merlin.

He remained still.

'Honestly,' she began, walking to and leaning against her desk, moving around the books and art everywhere, 'I thought that you'd get through school without dating him at all, I really did think that you two were only friends, good friends, very intimate friends indeed, and it made me happy to see you have someone you could trust so much, with yourself. But I always assumed it couldn't possibly be more than friendship,' she hoped her honesty would appease something within him, because she did feel a guilt, that maybe she was also partially to blame for Merlin's current strength in emotion.

'That's what I thought too,' Merlin uttered earnestly, deep in himself, 'until yesterday,' he sighed silently, 'but I guess, I've always known.'

'It's strange how these things turn out, isn't it? I like the saying that love is the condition in which the happiness of another is essential to your own. That's what I got from you two anyway,'

Nothing.

'Life's never how you expect it to be,' she said, as an afterthought, then Merlin raised his head, looking directly at her with blatant deep annoyance.

She hoped this information would be enough for him.

'I fell in love when I was about your age, maybe older,' now that she had Merlin's attention, 'maybe mid twenties actually,' she smiled, 'we hit it off right away, it was as if we'd known each other all our lives, but it all fell apart before we properly grew up,' It was her turn to lose herself.

'Why?' Merlin whispered.

'I don't know,' she sighed, 'bad timing I guess,' now thought started to circulate within Merlin's mind of what that was meant to mean.

'He promised he'd come back for me,' and Merlin thought maybe, by the closed eyes and gentle smile she possessed, that he'd died too, 'I wasn't planning on waiting for him, but oh well, so many years have passed now, but, it doesn't seem that long ago: time flew by fast.'

Merlin wondered, but was stopped from continuing with a pointed look from his aunt.

'But Merlin,' he raised his head again, 'you're different; you're nothing like me at all, are you?'

Merlin felt a pressing within the aura of this conversation, 'if someone were to be late in meeting up with _you, _you're the type to go look for him.'

Then she started talking about her latest project, leaving Merlin to his own thinking, and to quietly ponder upon reflection.

**X**

'MERLIN, WATERMELON!' Freya shouted up the stairs.

'Leave him be dear,' Hunith said gently yet firmly, no room for argument.

'Why?' Freya said, bouncing into the kitchen, proceeding to eat her share of the fruit, 'what's happened?'

Hunith chewed inside her mouth, wondering if it were wise to tell Freya, but hopefully some facts would silence her curiousity, 'he's heartbroken.'

'Really? Is it because Arthur left? It's because Arthur left isn't it? I knew there was something going on; they were too... _much _you know? To be "just friends" that is,'

'Be quiet!' Hunith shouted, shocking her daughter into submission, 'it's none of our business, never was, never will be!'

Merlin had locked himself in his room, but because his room didn't have a lock, pushed a chair up next to the knob.

He was lying on his bed so his head hung upside down... just staring out of his eyes.

Motionless, he was caught between thinking about absolutely nothing, and thinking about absolutely everything.

He had wondered when he fully realised his feelings, and of course, had spent many distraught moments mulling over his actions, and if he really could have prevented what happened.

Now, he was thinking about what his aunt had said, the words echoing in his mind.

'_If someone is late in meeting up with you, you're the type to go look for him.'_

He had indeed noticed that she spoke this very sternly; each word fabricated with emphasis, but on what he couldn't fully comprehend. He'd noticed how she started off generally, and then said Merlin would look for _him._

_Him_ being Arthur of course, Merlin knew that much: but Merlin didn't know if that's what she really meant or if it was even possible to raise his hopes that high, only for them to come crashing down in disappointment.

He knew he couldn't cope if he sank deeper into this swamp.

He was in his pyjamas as well, Merlin believing he'd subconsciously changed, not only because he was tired, but because it expressed a regression of sorts within his mind.

How different things were now.

How very different Merlin was, the comparison to his feelings not just a couple of weeks ago!

A ladybird was flying around his room's light.

It then came and landed on Merlin's arm, slowly crawling up his bicep.

The tingling sensation wasn't given a reaction, but Merlin still went to bat the thing away slowly, not even looking at it.

The itch persisted, so Merlin resorted to scratching the area, not caring if the insect died, looking at it in frustration.

But then, as he was moving the sleeve, a stunning fact was revealed.

Merlin audibly gasped, disbelieving, several potent sensations and emotions unleashed instantaneously on the discovery, causing a rush within his head and a coolness in his blood.

And if it was possible, time froze for a moment.

In Jokerman-like writing, with a line beneath to avoid confusion, Merlin found that he had one last leap left...

Merlin slid off his bed in shock.

Once the tumble had finished, Merlin sprung up.

'_It was zero before, I swear! It can't be possible!'_

But then, once the initial storm had passed, like parting clouds did Merlin see a possible explanation.

It was impossible, yet true, nothing else could fit.

Once he was master of his breathing, and his heartbeats returned to that of human range, he ran down his stairs, moving the chair to his door before hand – only one goal and one hope alone steadfast in his mind and soul.

'Hey Merlin, what's up?' Freya shouted out to him, but he didn't hear her above the drumming in his head.

He thumbed down the hallway, burst through the front door, the hinges screaming, and busted out through the rusting gate.

Down the hill he ran, legs feeling heavy and unsteady, his heart just as unstable once more.

As he gasped, the bitter coolness of the night air hitting him completely, it gave clearance to his thoughts.

'_Arthur used his time leap to save Lance and Gwen, which must mean that I got my last one back! He went to a time before I used it; so if I can go back far enough, he can get his last one too! _

_I'm almost positive!'_

And these, plus the similar, were running through Merlin's mind like wild horses as he too ran down Avalon's Decent, hopefully for the last time.

He thought of the first time he had met Arthur, when he was introduced into their class.

Arthur had looked so smart then, but Merlin could immediately tell he was only doing it for appearance's sake.

Arthur was a bit of a prat to begin with, but Merlin now understood Arthur, his antics, behaviours .etc. and found them incandescently endearing.

His ocean eyes, his dirty blonde hair, sometimes golden, his big build.

Merlin didn't know why, but his thoughts led him to the first time that he introduced Lance and Arthur – who were fast friends. They'd hung out with him a lot, of course, exchanging numbers and such, but now in hindsight, Merlin could see that Arthur did pay him a certain special attention: like when they went to get coffee or something, Arthur would pay for Merlin, despite Merlin's protesting. He wasn't a girl!

Merlin smiled: that only seemed to fuel Arthur's ways.

Or like the time they went to the book shop, and Arthur would come find Merlin in an aisle and show him comics and novels that would interest him; Lance somewhere far in the non-fiction section.

And the times when they'd go to London on the train, Arthur would always offer a seat next to him, or not sit at all, or if they had to stand up, Arthur would always usher Merlin close to him, making sure he was alright in the crowd.

Their first Christmas together, since Arthur had never had a proper tree before, the three of them snuck out to the forest and chopped down a pine. It was stupid and incredibly dangerous, but seemed like a good idea at the time.

Merlin chuckled to himself, a spontaneous infectious smile blooming on his face.

He remembered the time when Lance was doing something for the volunteer club after school. It was raining something awful that day, and since Merlin didn't have an umbrella, Arthur didn't offer his, he just swung an arm around Merlin's neck, brought him under it, then proceeded to walk him home like it was completely natural.

How foolish Merlin had acted before!

How could he have not realised what he felt; he felt it on a daily basis!

He then thought of the time Arthur asked him out...

If everything went according to plan this time, then Merlin would stop at nothing to make Arthur as happy as he made Merlin.

He swore to that.

He jumped once, when he had enough momentum, his foot slamming him into the air, hopping for effort, Merlin then leapt with all his might, propelling his entire body into the void.

This leap was very much like the first, an ocean current like sensation.

Merlin felt the significance, and prayed with what faith he had left.

Test papers came raining down on him...

Merlin sat up, the papers sliding off him, some staying.

He was a little dizzy, but not enough to not realise he was in the science prep room.

It was the day he first leapt, he noticed by the calendar in the corner.

Merlin didn't feel sensations of annoyance, or was plagued with a mindset of disappointment.

He was eternally grateful to the stars: he was wiser for what had happened.

**X**

Merlin and Mithian were organising the test papers, well, more Merlin, since it was his job for the day, when Mithian piped up with a hopeful, 'I wonder what Arthur does on the weekends and stuff, he can't play baseball all the time,'

The last part was said more as an afterthought, or a joke to lighten the mood, or maybe a cover to douse the obviousness of her interest.

Merlin heard it as all three.

He turned around as a consequence, looked at the girl, all eagerness.

'Mithian,' he started, tentatively, 'I need to be completely honest with you,' she nodded for him to continue, eyes bright, he sighed, 'I like Arthur. A lot.' He spoke with the effect of a blunted blade.

Mithian's reaction was one of consideration. She knew that if she wanted to be with Arthur, she would have to form a bond as strong as he shared with Merlin, however, both knew that wouldn't happen.

Couldn't.

Impossible.

She seemed to understand, and with grace, retracted her objectives.

'I see,' and she gave a little smile, a tug on her lips, as if realising she had no chance after all, 'I bumped into Arthur on the way up here, actually, you should go to him.'

Merlin nodded his thanks and his apology, then went to find Arthur, nerves crackling in his skin.

'Merlin,' Mithian sighed when he left, still looking after him, 'time waits for no one.'

He'd checked the rooms of reasonable possibility just to be sure, but he was convinced that Arthur must have already gone to the court.

He was running across the field to the school gate when Lance called his name.

'Arthur's already gone to the field, he got tired of waiting,' Merlin smiled, feeling an endeared emotion, 'He's pretty cranky, you better hurry,'

By now, Lance was close enough to talk to without shouting, 'Are you sure you want to leave your girlfriend, after all I-' but Merlin stopped himself at Lance's confused face.

'Oh right!' Merlin said, then whispering, 'so it really has all gone back to before,' in reflection.

'What are you mumbling about to yourself?' he quipped, but Merlin was saved an explanation when someone sneezed.

They turned to see Morgana, Morgause and a very almost white Gwen looking suspicious under a tree.

'Why don't we invite them to play ball with us?' Merlin smiled.

'What? You serious?'

'Go and ask them.'

'And why should I?'

'The more the merrier right?'

'Well... sure, but,'

'And by the way,' Merlin shouted over him, turning to stab him in the chest, 'if you borrow my bike, it'll cost you five thousand pounds! You got that? _Five thousand pounds!'_

Merlin emphasised, then twisted into the direction of the gate, Lance calling out, 'What's that meant to mean?'

Merlin coiled around while running; the strap of his satchel increasing the creases, 'Just ask nicely alright?'

'And one more thing!' Merlin called, 'Thanks for waiting for me!'

Lance smiled, letting a beat pass, 'Hey, Merlin! Watch where you're going!'

Through the streets he ran, the whizzing of cars blurring into a constant sound, until it dissolved into just his pants, a stitch in his side forming into an ache.

When he finally reached the court, he burst open the gate.

And there was Arthur.

Alive. Well. Completely ridiculous and refreshingly fitting.

He'd taken his school shirt off, the red sleeveless t-shirt loose in the right places, tight on his muscles.

He hadn't seen Merlin yet, must have not noticed the gate's bang. This, however, gave Merlin a chance to catch his breath, and lose it in another way, a way he'd refused himself before.

The picture was incredibly normal, however stunning all the same: Arthur was throwing the ball up in the air, disinterested and so obviously bored, it made Merlin chuckle a little, the smile staying and growing, the roots extending to his body, his fingers and his toes, even his ears.

And while Merlin was stuck in his reverie, he found his eyes locked with Arthur's.

What rushes of warm current did caress his soul!

Merlin ran, throwing his bag off his shoulder, and before Arthur had time to properly prepare, Merlin threw himself, quite unceremoniously, into the other man-boy's arms.

Merlin buried his face in Arthur's neck, breathing deeply, eyes wide shut, infusing his body with Arthur's scent. His skin was a mystical mixture of smooth roughness, all above tight, toned padding, which just seemed to mould into Merlin's own.

Arthur was really here.

He was real.

And Merlin didn't care if he couldn't breathe, he wasn't letting go. Didn't think he could.

'You're late,' Arthur said, while being crushed, 'Where's Lancelot?'

Merlin giggled at the fact Arthur hadn't commented on his vast expression of discomposure.

'Not coming,' Merlin mumbled into Arthur's shoulder, nosing the flesh there, feeling Arthur's strands wash against the side of his face like sea grass in the waves.

'What do you mean he's not coming?' Arthur said, sounding like he wanted to be annoyed, but really couldn't be with a Merlin latching onto him like a limpet, clinging to his solid bulk.

Merlin didn't answer, in favour of speaking with actions: he disentangled their bodies, stepped back to check Arthur's wrist – he grabbed his hand, and moved the permanent sweatband before Arthur could stop him.

Merlin felt a shower of relief, happiness and universal contentment: Arthur still had one last leap left.

He looked up, Arthur looking speechless, eyes wide and comical to Merlin, the boy grinned his affection, 'That's a nice tattoo you have,' he said, replacing the sweatband.

Arthur frowned at his wrist, looked at Merlin more pensively and befuddled.

Merlin loved everything about Arthur, knew that now, and by the way his heart flushed with warmth at the way Arthur was pouting, the attention he felt to gaze at his lips for a moment too long, Merlin leapt, not physically, but metaphorically, for the last time.

He leaned forward and kissed him.

He could taste Arthur's astonishment, even though it was a simple press of lips, Merlin craved it all the same.

When he pulled back, his fingers now entwined with Arthur's, did he explain.

'Do you want to go out with me?' Merlin asked, a bit rushed, and suddenly emotional, 'because I love you. Not just a silly crush or a mistaken feeling like it: I love you. And I think I have for a good long while now, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to lose you. But, I thought, if I didn't say anything at all, then I would, in a different sense. Because although I'm scared shitless about the future, I want you part of it, and I want you to be... with... me,' Merlin stammered to an end, 'I want to try this, because I know it will last.'

Arthur seemed to understand Merlin's impulsive actions, and now smirked, after a beat, at Merlin's anxious waiting.

'You're an idiot for starters, Merlin,' and already, the boy was relaxing, melting in a pool of gooey sensations. And maybe because words weren't really necessary right now, or maybe because words needed to be skipped, Arthur tugged Merlin closer and swooped in to steal another kiss, confident, and inexplicable happy.

It was as if their lips could just mould together. Arthur's texture was positively sinful, making Merlin go more than just a bit weak in the knees, as if butterflies were there too. He brought his hands up to Arthur's cheeks, the skin roughly smooth there, and pulled him closer; deepening the kiss that it momentarily shocked Merlin. Arthur's large hands were at Merlin's waist, but as soon as Merlin rubbed his groin against Arthur's, the man-boy slid them down to Merlin's arse, the other boy shivering with the intensity of the ecstasy. While Arthur was massaging Merlin's arse, giving little moans from the motions, Merlin slipped his tongue in.

Now _that _was worthwhile! Not only was Arthur smiling into the kiss, but his lips were moving like tides, with his slippery tongue, moist and huge, slithering along and into Merlin's mouth... well, Merlin felt all the blood in his body rush to his cock, leaving his brain feeling like clouds.

He could taste and feel Arthur's teeth, and although that idea might freak some out, it was bloody fantastic to Merlin. He would have realised that the sounds their lip-lock was making were terribly obscene, and more than likely would have moaned a little louder, but he was pleasantly distracted by Arthur gridding his groin into Merlin's with purpose.

Merlin thought back to the karaoke incident and thought with a mischievous grin that Arthur wasn't lying.

After many flushes broke out in his genitals, and he was pretty sure he could feel his heart's individual beats, he rewarded Arthur's wait with a slide of his hand down his cheek, his chest, his belly, to his bulging trousers, which was quite impressive.

Arthur groaned, and pulled Merlin impossibly closer by his bum, Merlin's other hand threading itself through Arthur's hair.

Merlin surrendered to the flow of things, allowed the high waves to pull him under, settle him on a bed of warmth, while he was pleasantly smothered with enthusiasm, tenderness and affection.

He could feel and hear Arthur's smile, and didn't even try to stop his own.

**XxXxX**

If you're wondering how they are now, then they are perfectly happy, to be honest.

They know no weariness in each other's society, therefore, are always seen together. Merlin knows what value Arthur is to him, and has found himself mutually placed upon atop. They are precisely suited in character, wonderful harmony is the result.

In the early days of their being officially an item, Merlin wondered if Arthur would have to ever leap back to his own time.

He never did.


End file.
